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Getting ready for autumn 

















THE 

SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


BY 

T. L. SAPPINGTON 

Author of “The Grateful Fairy” 


NEW YORK 

BARSE & HOPKINS 

PUBLISHERS 



Copyright, 1923, 
By Barse & Hopkin* 





PRINTED IN THE U. S. A. 


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.**iO 


©C1A711029 



CONTENTS 


PAGE 

The Sociable Sand Witch .l 

The Fountain of Riches.26 

Obstinate Town.51 

Toobad the Tailor.72 

The Snooping-Bug.90 

The Wrong Jack .no 

The Second Story Brothers .130 

The Imaginary Island .150 

The Dancing Pearl.170 

The Inherited Princess .190 













ILLUSTRATIONS 


Getting ready for autumn (in color; page 51) Frontispiece 

PAGE 

So Junior held his nose tight.9 

It was raining cats and dogs.35 

The Poppykok pasted a magic postage stamp on his 

cheek.53 

He began tearing at his clothes with all his might . 79 

The jar broke into a thousand pieces • • * • 95 

Out of the hole came a giant.. . .111 

He turned and whipped the fan open . . . .145 

Upon his vision burst a band of coal-black savages . 161 

Floo the Wizard at work . (in color) . . facing 172 

He watched her whirl about.175 

The minute the parade was over* he started off 

(in color).facing 192 

Underneath the window sat the twenty-headed Gal- 

lopus.....202 















THE 

SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Of all the witches that may be found in all the 
fairy tales ever told there is none more delightfully 
sociable than the Sand Witch. This Witch, who 
lives underneath the heaps of sand at the ocean’s 
edge, where, in the summertime, you dig with 
your shovel, is not at all like other witches. She 
never rides on a broomstick, and she never goes 
down chimneys. In the first place there are no 
broomsticks or chimneys on the beach at the sea¬ 
shore, and in the second place she would not know 
how to ride on a broomstick or climb down a chim¬ 
ney, if there were. All the Sand Witch knows 
how to do is to sink into the sand when anything 
scares her, and to come up through the sand when 
she sees a chance to get acquainted with a person 
she never was acquainted with before. So now 
you know what a Sand Witch is. And if Junior 
Jenks, seven years old, and dreadfully sunburnt, 


l 


THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


had known what you know, he would have been 
much better prepared to face the one that came up 
right under his nose all of a sudden one hot July 
morning. 

Junior was supposed to be in bathing. His 
mother, and his father, and his sister were in among 
the breakers having a fine time, but Junior, al¬ 
though he was wearing a bathing suit just like they 
were, preferred the good old sandy, sunny beach 
where foam-crested waves could not tumble you 
over and over, and fill your mouth with salt water 
when you yelled. He had tried bathing once, and 
no amount of coaxing could induce him to try it 
again, so his folks left him to play by himself while 
they took their dip. 

The first Junior knew about the Sand Witch 
was when the tip end of a steeple hat began to 
come up through the sand in front of him. Up, 
up it came until the whole hat was showing; then 
followed a long nose, two big, black eyes, a big 
mouth, and a sharp pointed chin; after that the 
rest of the Sand Witch followed very quickly, until 


2 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


at last she stood before him as cool as a cucumber. 

“Well,” she said, not paying the slightest atten¬ 
tion to the way Junior’s hair was standing up, 
“here I am. I’ve heard you digging for some days. 
I suppose you thought you’d never find me.” 

“Find you*?” said Junior, staring with all his 
might. “I wasn’t trying to find you. I never 
knew there was such a person. I wasn’t trying to 
find anything.” 

“You weren’t?” said the Sand Witch. “Then 
what in the name of peace were you digging for?” 

“Why,” said Junior “I—I—I was just digging 
for fun.” 

“Well,” said the Witch, “did you find any 
fun?” 

“Find any fun? Of course not! You don’t 
find fun, you—you just have it.” 

The Sand Witch pushed her hat on one side and 
scratched her head in perplexity. “I don’t think 
I understand. You said you were digging for fun, 
didn’t you? And when I asked if you found any 
fun you say you don’t find fun, you just have it. 
3 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Well, if you have it, what do you dig for? Tell 
me that?” 

But though she waited very politely for Junior 
to tell her, he made no answer. He just looked 
at her with his mouth open, and wiggled his bare 
toes deeper into the sand. 

“My goodness,” said the Witch, at last, “are 
you deaf? I asked you a question.” 

“I—I know,” said the boy, “but—but I can’t 
tell you. I—I don’t know how.” 

“Suffering sea serpents!” exclaimed the new¬ 
comer. “You certainly are the queerest I ever 
met!” 

“No queerer than you are,” responded Junior, 
indignantly. “You’re the queerest person I ever 
met! Coming up through the sand in such a 
way!” 

“Humph!” retorted the Witch. “How else 
could I come up? There’s nothing else here but 
sand to come up through. You can’t blame that 
on me.” 

“Oh, I’m not blaming you,” said Junior. “I’m 

4 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


only telling you. I don’t suppose it is your fault 
that all this sand is here. It only seemed so 
strange for a person to be underneath it. You 
don’t live there, do you?” 

“I certainly do!” replied the other; “and all my 
family, too.” 

“Underneath the sand? Why, I never heard 
of such a thing! I—I can’t believe it!” 

“Now look here,” said the Sand Witch. “I 
won’t let anybody talk that way to me. If you 
don’t believe I live underneath the sand come on 
down and see for yourself. Just hold your nose 
tight with the fingers of your right hand, put your 
left hand above your head, draw in a deep breath; 
and down you go, like this.” 

Thrusting a hand above her head, and grasping 
her nose, she took a deep breath, and zip—she 
sank through the sand like a flash, just the way 
Junior’s father always sank into the ocean when 
he was bathing. Then bing—the next moment 
she popped up again, smiling cheerfully. “See 
how easy it is? Come on, now you try it!” 

5 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“No, thank you,” said Junior. “I’d rather stay 
on top of the sand.” 

“Oh, pshaw!” exclaimed the Sand Witch, “I 
never saw such a ’fraid cat! You’re not only 
afraid to take a sea bath, but you don’t even dare 
to take a sand bath. I’d be ashamed!” 

“Well, be ashamed, if you want!” said Junior, 
hotly. “I don’t care! I don’t like baths of any 
kind; in the ocean, or in the sand; or even in the 
bathtub. What’s the use of them, anyway?” 

And with that he started digging again. And 
then it was that the Sand Witch showed what a 
thoroughly sociable nature she had, for although 
the boy had turned his back to her and was paying 
no attention, she wasn’t in the least discouraged. 
“Did you ever see a crab wait on the table?” she 
asked. 

“Why, no,” said Junior, whirling about and 
looking very much interested. “I thought all a 
crab could do was to pinch you.” 

“Not at all! They wait on the table fine if 
you let ’em. And I’ve got a shooting starfish, too, 
6 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


that can’t be beat. You come on down under¬ 
neath the sand, and I’ll show you. Oh, I’ve got 
dozens of delightful things down there. Why, 
the sand pies I make are the most delicious things 
you ever tasted. And I know you’ll laugh when 
you see the clams skip rope.” 

Well, you may be sure all this sounded very, 
very good to Junior. He had often heard of star¬ 
fish, but never of shooting starfish. A crab wait¬ 
ing on the table was bound to be interesting; and 
a clam skipping rope, even more so. As for sand 
pies, he had often made them himself, but never so 
they could be eaten. If there was a way to do the 
trick, he’d like to know it. In fact, it was like be¬ 
ing promised a free ticket to the circus. So throw¬ 
ing his bucket and shovel aside he got to his feet 
without further parley. 

“Very well,” he said, “I’ll go with you. But 
I’ve got to be back in a half hour. My father is 
going to take me sailing as soon as he is through 
with his bath.” 

“That’s all right,” said the Sand Witch. 

7 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“When you’re ready to go back, you just go back. 
And now do just as I do.” 

So Junior held his nose tight, put his other hand 
above his head, took a deep breath, and then bing— 
he and the Sand Witch sank through the sand in 
a jiffy, and the next moment came out under¬ 
neath it. 

“Oh!” cried the boy. 

All about was a beautiful, white, glistening, 
sandy city; houses, fences, streets, all of sand. 
The place where they were standing seemed to be a 
sort of park with cute, little, carved, sandy benches 
amid the sand grass, and several tall fountains 
spouting sand in a fine spray. 

“Well, how do you like it?” asked the Witch. 

“Fine!” said Junior; “but where are the clams 
and the—” 

“My goodness,” said the Witch, “but you are in 
a hurry. I’ve got to find my children, first. You 
don’t expect me to neglect my children that way, 
do you?” 

“Oh, no,” replied the boy, “of course not. But 

8 




7\\v 



So Junior held his nose tight 












THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


—but I didn’t come here to see your children, you 
know. I can see children anywhere.” 

“Not children like mine,” said the Sand Witch, 
proudly. “If there is a more beautiful child than 
little Lettuce Sand Witch I’d like to see it. And 
as for dear little Ham Sand Witch, he is the cutest 
thing.” 

“Ham Sand Witch! Lettuce Sand Witch!” ex¬ 
claimed Junior. “Are those the names of your 
children? Why—why, it sounds like things to 
eat!” 

“Well,” said Mrs. Sand Witch, “why not? 
Both of them are certainly sweet enough to eat.” 

With that she opened her mouth and gave a 
piercing yell. “Children!” she shrieked. “Come 
to mother, quick! I’ve got a little boy for you to 
play with!” 

And presently, racing across the park toward 
them came the two little Sand Witches, one a girl 
and the other a boy. But though their mother 
thought them sweet enough to eat, Junior did not. 
Both had long, pointed noses and chins; big, black 


10 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


eyes and dreadfully wide mouths, just like Mrs. 
Sand Witch. When they saw Junior they just 
stood and stared, and gnashed their teeth. 

“Hello!” said Ham Sand Witch, after a mo¬ 
ment. ‘ Who are you ?” 

“Yes,” said his sister, Lettuce Sand Witch, walk¬ 
ing about and examining Junior from all sides, 
“who are you, and where did you come from*?” 

“I’m Junior Jenks,” replied Junior, “and I came 
from the beach up above to see the clams skip 
rope.” 

“Pooh!” said Ham Sand Witch. “That’s no 
fun! We’re not going to play with them any 
more. They want you to turn the rope all the 
time. If you don’t, they nip you.” 

“Well,” said Junior, “if I can’t see the clams 
skip rope, let me see the starfish shoot.” 

“All right,” said Lettuce Sand Witch, “we don’t 
mind. But you’ll have to pay his fare if you want 
to see him shoot.” 

“Pay his fare?” responded Junior. “I don’t 
know what you mean.” 


11 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Ahem!” put in Mrs. Sand Witch. “Perhaps 
you thought he shot with a gun. Well, he doesn’t. 
He chutes with a chute! And you know as well as 
I do, you’ve got to pay your fare when you chute 
with a chute.” 

“Oh,” cried Junior, in dismay, “I see. But— 
but I haven’t any money.” 

“Then,” said Mrs. Sand Witch, “if you want to 
see him chute, we’ll have to charge it to your father. 
How about it?” 

“Well,” said the boy, “I guess he won’t mind, as 
long as I never saw a fish chute before.” 

So Mrs. Sand Witch took the children to the 
chute the chutes on the other side of the park, and 
told the proprietor, a very shaky old jellyfish, that 
Junior would pay the starfish's fare, and to kindly 
coax him out of the ocean to take a ride. 

So the jellyfish went to the ocean, which was just 
back of the chute the chutes, and yelled for the 
starfish to hurry up if he wanted a free ride. And 
the starfish, highly flattered at the invitation, lost 
no time in making his appearance. 


12 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“I’m awfully obliged to you,” he said to Junior, 
as he whirled about in the sand to dry himself. 
“And to show I am I’ll let you sit with me.” 

So Junior and the starfish, and Ham Sand 
Witch, and Lettuce Sand Witch, climbed into the 
car and went shooting around the chute the chutes. 

“Isn’t it great?” shrieked the starfish, as they 
scooted down the inclines. “It makes your in¬ 
sides turn somersaults! It beats swimming all 
hollow, I think. If ever I get rich I’m going to 
build one of these things in the ocean.” 

And when at last the ride came to an end he in¬ 
sisted on Junior shaking hands with every one of 
his five points. “Any time you - fall overboard 
when you’re out sailing,” he said, “stop in and see 
me. My place is the third clump of coral just be¬ 
yond the bathing grounds. Good-by!” 

“Now,” said Mrs. Sand Witch, who had waited 
while the children and the starfish took their ride, 
“I’ve got to go home and get dinner. You chil¬ 
dren amuse yourselves, and after dinner maybe I’ll 
take you to see the mermaids.” 

13 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


So Junior, and Ham Sand Witch, and Lettuce 
Sand Witch, wandered about the park hand in 
hand. Although the little Sand Witches were so 
ugly, Junior was beginning to like them right well, 
now that he was getting used to them; and they 
seemed to like him, too. 

“Why don’t you stay all summer 1 ?” said Ham 
Sand Witch. “We could have lots of fun.” 

“I’d like to,” said Junior, “if my father and 
mother and sister were here.” 

“Well, why not ask ’em to come down?” sug¬ 
gested Lettuce Sand Witch. 

“Oh, they wouldn’t do it,” said the boy. “I 
know they wouldn’t. They like it better on the 
boardwalk and at the hotel. And now let’s see if 
we can’t find those clams that skip rope.” 

“All right,” said Ham Sand Witch, “but if we 
do, they’ll make you turn for ’em just so. They’re 
awfully snappish.” 

And sure enough when presently they came upon 
the clams sitting on a bench near one of the foun¬ 
tains, and Junior asked if they would skip rope for 
14 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


him, they said they would if he turned for them 

just so. 

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘just so,’ ” said 
Junior, “but I’ll do my best.” 

And he certainly did do the best he could. 
While Ham Sand Witch held one end of the rope 
he turned it very, very carefully as the two big, 
white clams solemnly skipped. They were slow 
enough until they got warmed up. 

“Now give us butter and eggs,” said one of the 
clams, suddenly. 

“Butter and eggs?” said Junior. “You mean 
pepper and salt, don’t you?” 

“I certainly do not” said the clam who had 
spoken. “I mean butter and eggs. Pepper and 
salt is fast , but butter and eggs is lightning; and 
see that you do it right.” 

But though Junior turned the rope with all his 
might and main he simply could not turn it fast 
enough to suit the clams. And presently with a 
scream of rage they rushed at him snapping their 
shells angrily. 


1 5 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Run! Run!” shrieked Lettuce Sand Witch, 
“or they’ll nip you!” 

“Run! Run!” yelled Ham Sand Witch. 
“They pinch awful.” 

And maybe Junior did not run. And maybe the 
clams did not run after him. But luckily, just as 
they were about to grab him, one of them tripped 
and fell and cracked its shell, and wept so when it 
did, that the other clam stopped to help it. So 
Junior, and Ham Sand Witch, and Lettuce Sand 
Witch finally reached Mrs. Sand Witch’s house 
and were soon safe indoors. 

“Sakes alive!” exclaimed Mrs. Sand Witch, as 
the children stood before her, panting. “What 
has happened?” 

And after they had told her she said they were 
never even to speak to those clams again. “I never 
did care for clams, anyhow,” she said. “They’re 
always disagreeing with people.” 

Then she told them that dinner was almost ready 
and that she knew they would enjoy it. “We’ve 
got the most delicious sandpaper garnished with 
16 





THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


seaweed,” she added; “to say nothing of sand pies 
for dessert.” 

And when she said that both the little Sand 
Witches jumped up and down with glee, and 
cheered and cheered. “Oh, goody!” they cried. 
And Junior, being a very polite little boy, cheered 
also, although he felt quite sure that while he might 
like the sand pies, he never, never would care for 
sandpaper garnished with seaweed. 

And then as he sat in the parlor waiting for din¬ 
ner to be served, he heard a clatter of dishes in the 
next room, and peeping in, gave a gasp of astonish¬ 
ment, for there was a big, green-backed crab put¬ 
ting the dinner on the table, singing cheerfully to 
itself as it did so. And this is what it sang: 

’Twas a beautiful day at the bottom of the bay 
In the mud where I always dwell, 

But being a crab I longed to grab 
At the bathers and make ’em yell. 

So I took a swim to the water’s rim 
And looked about for a toe; 

And then as I looked some fellow hooked 
Me out of the water-o. 


17 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


He hooked me into a great, big Boat 
With a piercing yell of joy, 

And I do declare I’d still be there 
Except for his little boy. 

But that blessed lad unlike his dad, 

With fright he simply roared— 

He gave one squeal as I pinched his heel, 

And kicked me overboard. 

And now the aim of my humble life 
Is to find that boy some way, 

And to thank him quick for the kindly kick 
That saved my life that day. 

And as the crab sang a funny feeling came over 
Junior. Only a week or so before he had been out 
with his father in a boat, and his father had caught 
a crab on his fishing line, and pulled it into the 
boat. And Junior, being in his bare feet, had been 
awfully scared for fear the crab would pinch him, 
and then, sure enough, before he could get his feet 
up on the seat, it did, right on the heel; and in try¬ 
ing to kick it loose, he kicked it overboard. He 
wondered if this could possibly be the same crab. 

So when they all went in to dinner he looked at 
the crab carefully to see if he could recognize it, 
18 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


but as one crab looks like another, he couldn’t be 
sure. But the minute the crab saw him, it was very 
different. 

“Oh!” gasped the creature he had been observ¬ 
ing, staggering backward and almost dropping the 
dish of sandpaper and seaweed it was carrying. 
Then, putting the dish carefully on the table, it 
bent over and looked Junior in the face. 

“ ’Tis he!” it shrieked, with a dramatic gesture. 
“’Tis he! my rescuer!” And if Junior had not 
leaped from his seat it would have thrown its claws 
about his neck. 

“ ’Tis he?” exclaimed Mrs. Sand Witch, frown¬ 
ing at her amphibian servant. “What do you 
mean by ‘ ’tis he’? What are you talking about? 
This is a nice way to behave before company.” 

But after the creature had explained matters, 
Mrs. Sand Witch and the little Sand Witches were 
even more excited than the crab was. 

“My, my, how romantic!” said Mrs. Sand 
Witch; “and how lucky it is, Bertha, that you’re a 
lady crab. Now you can marry him!” 

19 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh!” exclaimed Bertha, the crab, trembling 
violently. “I never thought of that! I’d just 
love to, if only to show my gratitude. But—but 
maybe he wouldn’t care to marry me. Would 
you 1 ?” she asked, turning to Junior, who had once 
more resumed his seat. 

“Marry you?” said the boy, washing he hadn’t 
sat down again. “Why—why, of course not. 
Why—why—I—I—why, I’m only a boy. I—I, 
my mother wouldn’t let me get married. I know 
she wouldn’t.” 

“Oh, bother your mother!” retorted the crab, 
crossly. “She’ll never know anything about it. 
We’ll get married and settle down here, and she’ll 
never know where you are. And now, when shall 
it be?” 

“Never!” shouted Junior, springing up once 
more. “I’ll never do it. Boys never marry crabs. 
Boys never marry anybody!” 

“Never marry anybody?” put in Mrs. Sand 
Witch. “Dear me, then how do they ever get mar¬ 
ried?” 


20 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“They don’t get married,” said Junior. “They 
—they just play.” 

“Well,” responded the crab, “you can play. I 
won’t mind. You needn’t stop playing just be¬ 
cause you’re married to me. No, sir-ee!” 

But Junior shook his head. “I’m very sorry,” 
he said, “but I can’t do it.” And though the crab 
kept on coaxing and coaxing, he wouldn’t give in. 

“Now look here,” said Mrs. Sand Witch, “if we 
keep this up the dinner will be cold. So run along, 
Bertha, and maybe after Junior has had a good din¬ 
ner he will change his mind.” 

“No, I won’t,” said Junior. “And what is more 
I want to go back to the beach right off. I told you 
I was going sailing with my father in a half hour.” 

“But,” replied Mrs. Sand Witch, as she smacked 
her lips over the last of her sandpaper, “that was 
before you were engaged to be married.” 

“I’m not engaged to be married,” stormed the 
boy; “and if I had known you were this kind of a 
person I’d never have come down here.” 

“Now, now,” said Mrs. Sand Witch, “I’m every 


21 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


bit as old as your mother, and I know what is best 
for you. You wouldn’t like me to spank you, 
would you ?” 

And when she said that, Junior decided he might 
as well give himself up for lost. Soon as a person 
began to say she knew what was best for you, you 
might as well make up your mind, you are done for. 
“Good gracious!” he said to himself, “whatever 
shall I do?” 

And when dinner was over, and he went into the 
park again with the little Sand Witches, he was so 
depressed he wouldn’t play or do anything; and 
finally, Ham Sand Witch got tired trying to cheer 
him up and went off to play with some other sand 
witches, leaving Junior and Lettuce Sand Witch 
sitting on a bench side by side. 

Lettuce Sand Witch, swinging her legs vio¬ 
lently, was looking at him. Then she slid along 
the bench and snuggled up close. “I’m awfully 
sorry,” she said. “And I think it’s dreadfully 
mean to make you marry Bertha. She’s not pretty 


22 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


like I am, is she*? Wouldn’t you rather marry 
me?” 

And the minute she said that, Junior had a bright 
idea. He didn’t want to marry Lettuce Sand 
Witch any more than he wanted to marry the grate¬ 
ful Bertha, one was as ugly as the other; but maybe 
if he let on he wanted to, she might tell him how to 
get back to the beach. So he snuggled up to her 
when she snuggled up to him. 

“Maybe I would,” he said, smiling at her. “But 
I couldn’t possibly do it until I asked my mother. 
You tell me how to get back to the beach, and if 
my mother says I can marry you, I’ll come right 
back and do it.” 

“Oh, will you, really?” cried Lettuce Sand 
Witch, springing to her feet and clapping her 
hands. “Then I’ll tell you how to get to the beach, 
or at least the way my mother gets there. She 
stands up straight like this; holds her nose with her 
left hand and puts her right hand above her head; 
then she blows out her breath instead of drawing it 
23 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


in; and up she goes. And now, you won’t forget to 
come back?” 

“No, indeed,” said Junior, “I’ll do just as I 
promised. If my mother tells me to come back and 
marry you, I’ll do it. And now, good-by, and 
thank you very, very much.” 

The next instant he stood up as straight as he 
could, grasped his nose with his left hand, put his 
right hand above his head, blew out his breath, and 
bing—he shot up through the sand, and found him¬ 
self right alongside of his bucket and shovel. 

He looked about. Everything was just the 
same. The sun was shining, people were still in 
bathing, but nowhere among them could he see his 
father, or mother, or sister. And then, presently 
they came tearing over the sand toward him. 

“You bad boy!” scolded Mrs. Jenks. “Where 
have you been? We’ve been terribly worried! 
How dare you go off by yourself? Where were 
you, I say?” 

“Why—why—” began Junior. 

Then he stopped. What was the use? He 
24 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


knew they wouldn’t believe him. And if he asked 
his mother if he could go back and marry Lettuce 
Sand Witch as he promised he would ask her, she 
would say he was sick or something, and make him 
go to bed. So he just dug his toes into the sand 
and said nothing. 

And that is why poor little Lettuce Sand Witch 
is still waiting underneath the sand for Junior 
Jenks to come marry her. And that is why Junior 
Jenks keeps looking about so queerly when he plays 
on the beach by himself. He is taking no chances 
of another sociable sand witch popping up in his 
neighborhood. 


25 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


No matter what other mistakes you may make in 
your lifetime, never make the mistake of renting a 
cottage from an ogre. If you do, the chances are 
you will bitterly regret it, as did Hak, the aged 
woodcutter. 

Hak, was an old, old man who lived in a forest 
with his little grandson, Omo, whose father and 
mother were dead; and who earned his living by 
cutting down trees and chopping them into fire¬ 
wood. The cottage that Hak and his grandson 
lived in belonged to an ogre, and the rent the old 
man paid for it was not very much; and as long as 
he kept his health and strength, he got along very 
nicely. But one day, while cutting down a tree he 
tripped and fell, and before he could get out of the 
way the falling tree struck him and broke his leg. 
And after Omo had dragged him back into the cot- 
26 


THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


tage all he could do was to lie on his bed and groan, 
and wait for the leg to get well. 

“Goodness gracious!” he said to the boy, “What 
shall we do? I won’t be able to work for days and 
days, and there will be the rent to pay*, to say 
nothing of the doctor’s bill.” 

“Well,” said Omo, “the rent and the doctor’s 
bill will have to wait. So don’t worry.” 

“I have to worry,” replied the old man. “The 
doctor may wait for his bill, but the person who 
owns this cottage will not wait for his rent; no 
sir-ee. 

Then he told Omo that the cottage belonged to 
an ogre. “He let me have it very cheap, but only 
for a certain reason. What do you think that rea¬ 
son was?” 

“I don’t know,” replied Omo. “What was it?” 

“That he should be allowed to make you into a 
dumpling for dessert if I did not pay the rent every 
month without fail.” 

“Oh,” said Omo, his eyes very big. “I don’t 
wonder you are worried. It—it makes me feel 
27 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


worried, too! Why did you ever make such a bar¬ 
gain?” 

“Well,” said his grandfather, groaning worse 
than ever, “I never thought for a minute that I 
would ever have my leg broken, and I was so very, 
very poor I simply had to have a cottage cheap. 
But now, I’ll not only lose the cottage, but you 
also. I guess I might as well die.” 

“Don’t you do it!” responded Omo. “I haven’t 
been made into a dumpling yet , and I’m not going 
to be, if I can help it. I’ll go into the city and get 
the doctor, and while I’m there I’ll try to earn 
enough money to pay the rent.” 

But Omo’s grandfather only shook his head. 
“You’re a plucky boy, Omo,” he said, “but you’ll 
never be able to do it. How can a boy of seven 
earn anything?” 

“Well, I can try, can’t I?” said Omo. “You 
can’t do anything if you don’t try.” 

So pulling his cap down over his curls, and tuck¬ 
ing some bread and cheese into his pocket, he set 
oif for town. But when he arrived at the doctor’s 
28 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


office he found that the waiting room was crowded 
with people, and that he would have to wait his 
turn. 

“Oh, dear,” he sighed, as he sat down next to a 
little old lady with a frilled bonnet on her head, 
“this is most unfortunate. My grandfather ought 
to be attended to right away.” 

“Well, he won’t get attended to right away,” 
said the old lady, “I can tell you that! This doc¬ 
tor charges by the length of time you wait in his 
office, so he never hurries. I’ve been here three 
months.” 

“Three months!” cried the boy. “Oh, I couldn’t 
possibly wait three months, or even three days. 
I’m in a hurry! I’ve got to earn enough money to 
pay the rent of our cottage, or the ogre who owns 
it will turn me into a dumpling and eat me.” 

And when he said that everybody in the waiting 
room twisted about and looked at him. “He seems 
to have a fever,” they said. 

“See here,” said the old lady, “are you sure 
you’re not sick instead of your grandfather?” 

29 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“I’m perfectly well!” exclaimed Omo, indig¬ 
nantly. 

“Then you must be joking,” responded the other. 

“No, I’m not,” said Omo. “I mean every word 
I said. I’m in great trouble.” 

“H’m,” said the old lady. She got to her feet. 
“Come on, let’s go outside! We’ll save money by 
it anyway!” 

Then as they walked along the street Omo told 
her all about his grandfather’s accident, and how 
important it was that the rent should be paid. 

“Ha!” exclaimed the old lady. “I know that 
ogre! His name is Gub and he lives on the hill 
on the other side of the city. I often used to help 
people out of his clutches. I’m a retired fairy god¬ 
mother—haven’t been in business for years and 
years—but your story interests me. I’ve a good 
mind to help you!” 

“Oh, if you only would!” said Omo, “I’d be aw¬ 
fully obliged. You see, it’s not very pleasant to 
be made into a dumpling, and have my grand- 
30 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


father put out of his cottage when he has a broken 
leg. Please, please, help me!” 

“Well,” said the old lady, as she led the way into 
a little house with a peaked roof, “I only help 
people who help themselves. Can you help your¬ 
self?” 

“Certainly!” said Omo. “Just offer me some¬ 
thing and watch me help myself.” 

“Very well then, I will,” responded the fairy 
godmother. Going to a golden desk in a corner 
she took from it a silver key. “This is the key that 
turns on the Fountain of Riches in the City of 
Ootch. All you have to do is to put the key in the 
keyhole at the base of the fountain, give three 
turns to the right, three turns to the left, and one 
turn in the middle, and instantly the fountain will 
commence to spout gold pieces enough to bury you. 
But you must promise me this, be sure and turn the 
fountain off as -soon as you get enough gold pieces 
to fill your cap; and be sure and bring the key back 
to me, for I wouldn’t want that key to be left in 
31 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Ootch, or that fountain to be left spouting, for 
anything.” 

“Why not?” asked Omo. “What’s the use of a 
fountain if it doesn’t spout?” 

“Well, you see I presented that fountain to the 
city of Ootch because they named the city after 
my great aunt’s trained cockatoo, but after the 
fountain started spouting gold pieces everybody 
had so much money they all stopped working, and 
it almost ruined them. The butcher stopped sell¬ 
ing meat, and the baker stopped baking bread, and 
the tailor stopped making clothes. Everybody 
stopped doing everything, and pretty soon, al¬ 
though everybody had plenty of money, you 
couldn’t buy anything because nobody would take 
the trouble to keep store when they could get 
money from the fountain. So I locked the foun¬ 
tain up and took the key with me. And after the 
people of Ootch had spent some of the money they 
had, and lost the rest, and could not get any more 
without working for it, everything got all right 
again. And that’s the reason I don’t want the 
32 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


fountain to keep on spouting again, or want you 
to leave the key behind you.” 

“I should think not,” said Omo. “It seems as 
bad to be too rich as it is to be too poor. I’ll be 
very careful about shutting the fountain off, and 
I won’t forget to bring back the key. And now 
how do I get to the city of Ootch?” 

“Just open my back door,” said the fairy god¬ 
mother, handing him the key, “step out on the step, 
and then step olf. And I do hope you won’t find 
it raining, for when it rains in Ootch, it rains cats 
and dogs.” 

So Omo opened the fairy godmother’s back door 
and stepped out on the step, and as he stood there 
all he saw before him was a pretty little garden. 
Then, he stepped off the step, and bing—he was 
in a queer looking city, and the garden and the 
back step, and the cottage, and the fairy godmother, 
had all disappeared. And in addition it was rain¬ 
ing cats and dogs; regular, real cats and dogs. 

“Ouch!” cried Omo, as a fat maltese fell ker¬ 
plunk on his head, yowling like anything. 

33 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Whee!” he yelled, as a fox terrier dropped with a 
thud on his shoulder and barked in his ear. And 
then, as black, white, brown, yellow cats of every 
color, and dogs, big, little and medium, began 
pouring on him and around him, all howling, and 
barking, and spitting at the same time, he made a 
rush for a small building, open at the sides but 
with a dome like roof of metal, where a man was 
standing. 

“Quite a shower, isn’t it?” said the man, as Omo 
reached the shelter. 

“A shower,” gasped Omo, “why—why, I think 
it’s much more than a shower. And—and look 
what’s coming down—cats and dogs!” 

“Well,” said the other, “why not? That’s what 
always comes down, isn’t it? That is why we 
build these cat and dog proof pavilions for use on 
rainy days. Now if it rained elephants, that 
would be an inconvenience.” 

“I should say so,” replied the boy. “But does 
it always rain like this?” 

“Oh, sometimes it’s a great deal worse. I re- 

34 




It was raining cats and dogs 





















THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


member about two years ago I was caught in a 
storm and eight cats, all in one lump, and fighting 
as hard as they could, fell right on top of me as I 
crossed the street, and I assure you, sir, I almost 
lost my temper.” 

“Well,” said Omo, “it’s lucky they melt as soon 
as they reach the ground or you’d have more cats 
and dogs than you knew what to do with.” 

“Quite true,” responded the stranger, “and even 
as it is, it is quite a nuisance when a storm comes 
up.” 

He was an odd looking fellow with a curly 
beard, a scimitar in his sash, and a spotted turban 
on his head. As he finished speaking he began 
twisting at his ear with his finger as though he 
were winding a clock. 

“What’s the matter,” asked Omo, “is your ear 
sore ?” 

“Certainly not! You know as well as I do I’m 
only winding myself up so I can start home as soon 
as the storm passes.” 

“Oh,” cried Omo, “is that it? Well, I don’t 

36 



THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


have to wind myself up when I want to go any¬ 
where. I’m always wound up.” 

“You are!” exclaimed the stranger. “Why, I 
can hardly believe it! I never heard of anyone 
being that way! You can’t have lived here very 
long.” 

“Oh, no,” said the boy, “I haven’t lived here a 
half hour. I only just came.” 

Then he asked his companion if this was the 
city of Ootch, where the famous Fountain of 
Riches was located. 

“Oh, yes,” said the stranger, “this is the city of 
Ootch all right. And the Fountain of Riches is 
here, too, but it’s turned off; been turned off for 
years. Gee whiz, don’t I remember the good old 
days when it was turned on. Everybody got so 
rich we nearly starved to death because nobody 
would work to provide things for us to live on. 
And then all of a sudden the fountain stopped, 
and I had to go to work again. I’m a night watch¬ 
man. Not that there is much use of watching the 
night, because no one ever tries to steal it, but 
37 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


that’s the trade my father taught me, so I’m it. 
And now, maybe you’ll tell me why you ask about 
the Fountain of Riches?” 

“Well,” said Omo, cautiously, “I’ve heard so 
much about it I just thought I’d like to see it while 
I was here.” He didn’t think it wise to tell any¬ 
thing about the fairy godmother giving him the 
key to the fountain for fear some one might try to 
take the key from him. 

“Quite so,” said the other, “then you’d better 
come with me. The shower is over now, and if 
you want to see the fountain you’ve got to get a 
permit from the Doodab.” 

“The Doodab! What’s a Doodab?” asked 
Omo. 

“A Doodab,” exclaimed the Night Watchman, 
“is the next swellest person to a Gumshu. Ootch 
isn’t important enough to be governed by a Gum¬ 
shu so they put a Doodab over us, and he’s a right 
decent chap, and very fond of music. Why I’ve 
seen him sit by the hour and push a slate pencil 

38 



THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


across a slate and go into ecstasies because it made 
his blood run cold. You’ll probably like him if 
you don’t hate him. So come along and see for 
yourself.” 

Now the Doodab of Ootch was a very, very fat, 
and a very, very lazy gentleman. He hated to be 
bothered about anything at any time. He wore 
rings on his fingers and bells on his toes, and he 
had a big hoop of pearls through the end of his nose. 
And he especially hated to be bothered when he 
was singing, which is what he was doing as Omo 
and the Night Watchman entered his apartment. 
And this is what he was singing in a very quivery 
voice as he accompanied himself on a slate with an 
awfully squeaky slate pencil: 

The currant cakes were thick upon the bushes; 

The pie plants they were swaying in the breeze, 

And the river it was made of delicious lemonade, 

While the doughnuts all were ripe upon the trees. 

We wandered hand in hand about the garden 
Where the lollipops were strolling to and fro; 

And I always will recall that exciting day in Fall 
When we stood and watched the pickled onions grow. 

39 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Well,” exclaimed the Doodab, fretfully, “what 
do you want? It seems strange I can’t embark on 
a sea of melody without being dragged ashore like 
this. What do you want?” 

“This boy wants to get a permit to look at the 
Fountain of Riches,” said the Night Watchman. 

“He wants—What does he want that for?” 

“Oh, I just want to see what it looks like,” said 
Omo. “I never saw a Fountain of Riches before.” 

“Hum!” said the Doodab of Ootch. “That re¬ 
mark has a very jarring note in it. And what are 
you going to do after you’ve seen the Fountain of 
Riches?” 

“Why,” said Omo, “just—just look at it, of—of 
course.” 

“And what are you going to do after that?” 

“Why—why, just—just keep on looking at it, I 
guess,” responded the boy, hardly knowing what 
to say. 

“Nonsense!” said the Doodab, “it won’t do any 
good to keep on looking at it forever. And be- 
40 



THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


sides if you look at it too long the permit will run 
out. It only last three minutes.” 

“Three minutes!” exclaimed Omo. “Oh, I 
couldn’t turn the fountain on and off, and gather 
up the gold pieces in three minutes.” And then he 
clapped his hand to his mouth in dismay when he 
realized what he had said. 

“Ah, ha!” said the Doodab of Ootch, rattling the 
bells on his toes. “So you’re going to turn it on, 
eh ?’ 

“Oh, ho!” said the Night Watchman. “And 
how in the world did you find out how to turn it 
on?’ 

“Oh, I found out!” replied the boy. 

“Well,” said the Doodab, “I’m mighty glad to 
hear it, for I’m dreadfully hard up. My purse is 
just about empty.” 

Then he clapped his hands and when his servants 
entered the room, he told them to get several large 
sacks and some shovels, and follow him. Then 
having twisted his ear and wound himself up, while 
41 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


the Night Watchman did the same, he took Omo 
by one hand and the Night Watchman by the other, 
and led the way to the Fountain of Riches. 

“See here,” said Omo, as they hurried through 
the streets, “you two needn’t think you’re going 
to have piles of gold pieces again, for you’re not. 
I’m only going to turn that fountain on long 
enough to get my hat full; and then I’m going to 
turn it off.” 

“What!” shrieked the Doodab of Ootch, “you’re 
going to turn it off before I get my sacks full?” 

“Can I believe my ears?” said the Night Watch¬ 
man. “You can’t mean to turn it off before I get 
my pockets full? Why—why if it hadn’t been for 
me you never would have seen the Doodab, or 
found out where the fountain was. You must be 
spoofing!” 

“No, I’m not,” said Omo. “I’m very sorry, but 
I promised to turn the fountain off the minute I 
got my hat full.” 

“The minute you get your hat full, eh?” said 
the Doodab, looking at Omo slyly. Then he whis- 
42 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


pered in the Night Watchman’s ear, after which 
they both laughed merrily. 

“What are you laughing at?” asked Omo. 

“We’re laughing,” said the Night Watchman, 
“to think how you’re going to turn the fountain 
off after you get your hat full.” 

By this time they had reached the Fountain of 
Riches which was in the center of the public square 
of the city. 

“Are you still determined to turn it off as soon 
as you get your hat full?” asked the Night Watch¬ 
man. 

“I have to,” said Omo. “I promised.” 

“Well,” said the Doodab, snappishly, “if you 
want to shut it off you’ve got to turn it on first, 
haven’t you? So go ahead!” 

So Omo took out the silver key, fitted it into the 
keyhole at the base of the fountain, and turned 
three times to the right, then three times to the left, 
and then three times in the middle, and bing—with 
a clink and a chink, and a tinkle, the fountain of 
riches began to spout. And the minute it did that, 
43 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


the Night Watchman grabbed Omo’s cap from his 
head, and the Doodab snatched the key from his 
hand. 

“There,” said the Doodab of Ootch, hurling the 
key as far as he could, “I guess you won’t turn off 
the fountain until you find that key.” 

“Yes,” said the Night Watchman, hurling 
Omo’s cap as far as he could, “and I guess you 
won’t fill your cap until you find your cap either. 
And by the time you do I’ll have my pockets full 
of gold pieces.” 

“And,” put in the Doodab, “I’ll have my sacks 
full also.” 

Well, you may be sure Omo was very angry at 
the trick played on him, and started after the cap 
and key as quickly as he could. It did not take 
him long to find his cap, but he simply could not 
find the key. 

“See here,” he cried, running back to where the 
Doodab was tying up the necks of his sacks, which 
were now filled to bursting, “you’ve got to help 
44 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


me find that key. I promised to turn this foun¬ 
tain off and I’m going to do it.” 

“All right,” said the Doodab, “I’ll help you. 
I’ve got gold enough here to last me the rest of my 
life so I don’t care how soon you turn it off.” 

“Nor I,” said the Night Watchman. “I’ve got 
all my pockets full, and my stockings full besides, 
so stop the old thing whenever you want.” 

But Omo, and the Doodab, and the Night 
Watchman, although they searched and searched, 
could not find the key anywhere, and all the while 
the fountain was spouting gold pieces in a stream 
a hundred feet high, and so thick it looked like 
smoke. 

“My sakes!” said the Doodab of Ootch, “I don’t 
know how you’ll ever stop it! I’m sorry I threw 
the key away now! But, anyhow, the worst that 
can happen if the fountain keeps on spouting, is to 
give the town a spell of nervous prosperity.” 

But alas, the Doodab of Ootch did not know 
what he was talking about, for the fountain kept 
4 5 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


on spouting and spouting, faster and faster; and 
presently the streets were knee deep in gold pieces. 
It was awful. 

“Say,” said the Night Watchman to Omo, “are 
you sure you turned the fountain on all right? It 
never spouted like this before. We’ve always 
been able to pick up the gold pieces as fast as they 
came out.” 

“Of course I turned it on right,” said the boy. 
“I turned the key three times to the right and three 
times to the left, and then once in the middle.” 

“No such thing!” shrieked the Doodab. “No 
such thing! You turned it three times in the mid¬ 
dle ! I watched you!” 

“Oh,” cried Omo, in a horrified tone, “did I? 
Then—then that's why the gold is coming out so 
fast. And it’s getting deeper all the time.” 

“It’ll soon be up to our necks!” cried the Night 
Watchman. 

“We are lost!” roared the Doodab. He glared 
at Omo angrily. “How dared you turn it on 
wrong?” 


46 




THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


“Well, what did you throw the key away for*?” 
retorted the boy. “If you hadn’t done that, I 
could turn it off.” 

And there they stood quarreling, and all the 
time the gold was getting deeper and deeper about 
them. And when at last they decided they had 
better go back to the Doodab’s palace before they 
were buried alive, they found it was too late. The 
gold pieces were so deep they could not walk. 

“Mercy me!” groaned Omo. “I’ll never get 
back to my grandfather now. I wish I had never 
come here!” 

“So do I!” snapped the Doodab of Ootch. 
“Until you came I was perfectly poor and happy, 
and now I’m horribly rich and wretched. Oh, 
what shall we do?” 

And then all of a sudden Omo remembered a 
whistle the fairy godmother had given him when 
she gave him the key. “If you really need me for 
anything,” she had said, “just blow this whistle; 
but not unless you really need me.” So Omo put 
the whistle to his lips and blew as hard as he could, 
47 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


for he thought if he ever really needed a fairy god¬ 
mother he needed one now. 

And the minute he blew the whistle there was a 
flutter and a whirr, and the fairy godmother, frilled 
bonnet and all, stood before them. 

“Well,” she said, “you are in a nice mess, aren’t 
you?” 

“It isn’t my fault,” said the boy. And then he 
told her how he had tried to obey her instructions, 
but could not because the Doodab of Ootch had 
thrown the key away. “I did make a mistake turn¬ 
ing the fountain on,” he said, “but I could have 
turned it off all right if the key had not been taken 
from me.” 

“I see!” said the fairy godmother. 

Then she told Omo to fill his cap as well as his 
pockets with gold pieces. And after he had done 
it, she gave three clucks like a chicken does, 
snapped her finger twice; and bing—all the gold 
pieces in the streets of Ootch, all the gold in the 
Doodab’s money bags, all the gold in the pockets 
and stockings of the Night Watchman; all the gold 
48 



THE FOUNTAIN OF RICHES 


everywhere except that which Omo had, disap¬ 
peared, and the Fountain of Riches also. 

“There,” she said, “that’s the best way to settle 
the matter. And now, come on, Omo, and get the 
doctor for your grandfather and pay the Ogre his 
rent.” 

“But,” howled the Doodab of Ootch and the 
Night Watchman, “what do we do? We haven’t 
a cent!” 

“You don’t deserve any,” replied the fairy god¬ 
mother, sternly. “And as long as you’re howling 
so about it, I’ll just make you and the whole city 
disappear as well.” 

And she did, with three clucks and a snap of her 
fingers; and the next moment Omo found himself 
in the fairy godmother’s cottage. 

Well, you can easily guess how after thanking 
his benefactress for what she had done, he hurried 
off to the doctor’s office. And when the doctor saw 
Omo’s cap and pockets full of gold, he went with 
him at once; and became so interested in Omo’s 
grandfather’s case he took ten years to cure him. 
49 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


But neither Omo nor his grandfather cared if he 
did, for they had plenty of money. And when the 
ogre came stamping in to collect his rent, thinking 
he would not get it and would then make Omo into 
a dumpling, Onro just laughed and bought the 
place from him. And not only that, but he added 
another wing to the cottage and laid out a pretty 
garden as well, as much like the fairy godmother’s 
as he could make it. And when he did that the 
fairy godmother was so pleased she came and kept 
house for them. 

And now if you want to see a really happy fam¬ 
ily, just stop and make a visit at Omo’s place in 
the middle of the forest where his grandfather used 
to cut down the trees to make a living, but which 
he does not have to do any more, thanks to the 
Fountain of Riches. 


'50 



OBSTINATE TOWN 


Of course you know what a postage stamp is: a 
little, square, gummed stamp with a picture of 
George Washington on it. But a magic postage 
stamp is a very different stamp indeed. The 
George Washington kind you can buy in the drug 
stores, but the other sort you cannot buy. They 
are given to you free of charge, if you don’t look 
out. 

In the autumn, when the leaves are falling, the 
Poppykoks come to town. There may be a hun¬ 
dred leaves falling and not one leaf have a Poppy- 
kok on it, and then all of a sudden, another leaf 
falls on your shoulder and a Poppykok is sitting 
on it, and then—bing—the moment he lands on 
your shoulder he jumps off the leaf and pastes a 
magic postage stamp on your cheek, and then—off 
you start for Obstinate Town by special delivery, 
that is, you do if you happen to be a boy that al- 


THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


ways wants his own way. But if you are not that 
kind of a boy, you need not worry. 

However, the boy this story is about was one 
of the kind who wanted his own way. No matter 
what he was told to do he wanted to do something 
else. Otherwise, he was a very nice little chap, 
and his name was Prince Zep, the only son of a 
wealthy and powerful king. Of course being a 
prince he was allowed to have his own way much 
more than was good for him, and was so used to it, 
he never thought anything about how unpleasant 
it might make things for other people. 

And so, it is not surprising that one afternoon 
late in the Fall he was caught, and sent off to Ob¬ 
stinate Town by special delivery. 

Now Zep never guessed, any more than you 
have, that there was such a place as Obstinate 
Town, or such things as Poppykoks or magic post¬ 
age stamps. And so, as he strolled through the 
Royal Park that afternoon scudding his feet 
through the dried leaves that covered the way, he 
had not the slightest idea that anything was going 
52 











THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


to happen to him, until quite unexpectedly, a big, 
red maple leaf fell on his shoulder, and from it 
stepped a Poppykok in his bright scarlet coat and 
breeches, and with his magic postage stamp neatly 
curled up in a roll in his hand. And before Zep 
could even gasp, the Poppykok had pasted the 
stamp on his cheek, leaped from his shoulder to the 
ground, and stood before him, smiling cheerfully. 

“There you are,” said the Poppykok, “a good 
job, well done. Bon voyage!” 

“Bon what?” began Zep, “I—I—” 

“That’s all right,” responded the Poppykok, 
“you don’t know where you’re going, but you’re 
going. Good-by! I’ll see you later!” 

And then Zep felt himself leap into the air and 
start off with a whiz. And the more he whizzed, 
the more he whizzed, until it seemed as though he 
would never stop whizzing. 

“My gracious,” he thought, as well as he could 
as he hurried along, “what on earth has happened 
to me, and where, oh where, am I going? This is 
really dreadful!” 


54 




OBSTINATE TOWN 


And indeed it was for a little while. But pres¬ 
ently he began to get used to the whizzing, and 
finally found himself descending in a graceful 
curve before a large and ornate building that 
looked very much like a palace. And sure enough 
that is exactly what it was, and sitting on the steps 
of the palace waiting for him was the very same 
Poppykok that had started him off on his journey. 

“Welcome!” said the Poppykok, rising and com¬ 
ing forward as the Prince reached the ground with 
a bump, “you’re right on time. I hope you had a 
pleasant trip 1 ?” 

“No,” said Zep, crossly, “I certainly did not. I 
had a horrid trip. .How dare you treat me this 
way?” 

“Pooh! Pooh!” responded the other, snapping 
his fingers, “everybody says that when they first 
arrive. You’ll be crazy about the place in a little 
while. And now let’s go inside and report to the 
Emperor.” 

Pushing open the front door of the palace the 
Poppykok led the way into the grand entrance hall, 
55 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


and as he did so a short, fat man with a crown on 
his bald head, and bristling whiskers all about his 
face, came tumbling down the stairway head over 
heels, and landed in a heap at their feet. 

“Ouch!” he exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing 
his nose. After which he rubbed his shins and said 
“ouch” once more; and “oh my” and “good gra¬ 
cious.” And after that he bawled up the stairs as 
loud as he could: “Don’t try to tell me to be care¬ 
ful and not fall downstairs, for I’ll do as I want.” 

Then he swung himself about. “The idea,” he 
said, glaring at the Prince and the Poppykok, “of 
any one trying to keep me from falling downstairs. 
Huh! Can’t I fall down my own stairs? Can’t 
U Tell me!” 

“Certainly you can, your majesty,” responded 
the Poppykok. “You can fall up ’em, too, if you 
want.” 

“I should think so,” retorted the Emperor, “and 
yet the Queen tells me to look out and not fall 
down ’em, because it worries her. Well, let her 
worry. I want her to worry.” 

56 




OBSTINATE TOWN 


But if the Queen was worried she did not act 
that way, for as she came tripping down she was 
laughing so heartily that she nearly fell herself, 
and firially had to sit on the bottom step to get her 
breath. 

“What—what—” spluttered the Emperor, 
“what do you mean by not worrying*? You ought 
to be ashamed of yourself. Look at my nose, to 
say nothing of the bump on my shins. My, oh, my, 
isn’t anybody worried about me?” 

“I am, your majesty,” put in Zep, “and I think 
the Queen ought to be, too.” 

“She ought not,” snapped the monarch, scram¬ 
bling to his feet. “If I wanted her to be glad she 
would be worried, but as I want her to be worried, 
she is not. You must be a stranger here.” 

“He is,” said the Poppykok. “He just arrived. 
I only caught him a little while ago.” 

Then he told the Emperor who Zep was. “This 
boy,” he said, “is a Prince, and has his own way 
more than anybody else in his father’s kingdom. 
In fact, he is one of the most delightfully stubborn 
57 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


young persons I have ever met, and never will do 
what any one wants him to if he can possibly help 
it.” 

“My,” said the Emperor, grasping Zep’s hand 
and shaking it warmly, “if that isn’t the finest rec¬ 
ord I ever heard of. I couldn’t be more pig-headed 
myself. How did you get so 1 ? Did you learn it 
at school or just teach yourself”?” 

“Oh,” said Zep, feeling rather proud “I iust 
picked it up, I guess.” 

“Well,” said the monarch, “there is nothing like 
it to my mind. “Perhaps you’ve read my famous 
poem on the subject? Have you?” 

“No,” said Zep, “I never heard of it.” 

“Humph!” said the Emperor, looking rather dis¬ 
appointed. “You’re not very literary, are you? 
However, there is no reason why you should not 
hear it now. Listen.” 

When I was a lad, I said to myself 

As I hooked the jam from the pantry shelf, 

“I may grow up and I may grow old 
“But I hope I’ll never do as I’m told. 

58 




OBSTINATE TOWN 


“For all the fun I’ve ever had, 

“Has always come from being bad.” 

So I started out on my wild career, 

And I did so well that Pm Emperor here, 

Where you’re told to do this, and you simply 
don’t— 

And you’re asked to do that, and you say you 
won’t. 

And my what a lot of fun I’ve had— 

For I never mind, and I’m awful bad. 

“You can see,” said the Emperor, when he had 
finished, “what a splendid place you have come to. 
And as the years pass, I hope you may find it even 
more delightful.” 

“As the years pass,” repeated Zep. “Why— 
why, I can’t stay here for years. What would my 
folks say?” 

“If you ask me,” put in the Poppykok, “I should 
say they’d say: ‘thank goodness, he’s gone at last.’ ” 

“Yes,” said the Emperor, “it’s only in Obstinate 
Town that people like boys like you. Every¬ 
where else they think you’re a nuisance. Didn’t 
you know that?” 


59 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Why—why, no,” said Zep. “I—I thought 
everybody liked me.” 

“Ho, ho, ho!” roared the Poppykok, shaking 
with merriment. 

“Hee, hee, hee!” cackled the Emperor, “my 
word, that’s good! You ought to send that to a 
comic paper. He thought everybody liked him.” 

“Well,” said Zep, sulkily, “they always acted as 
though they did. I—I like people to like me. 
But as long as they don’t I’ll never go back.” 

“That’s the stuff,” said the Emperor. “Don’t 
you do it. You stay here with me and enjoy your¬ 
self. Do as you please. Be as cranky as you like. 
Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d be a popular 
idol some day if you go on the way you’ve begun.” 

So Zep settled down in Obstinate Town deter¬ 
mined to enjoy himself with all his might. And 
because he was a prince, the Emperor let him live 
in the palace and eat his meals at the royal table. 

However, he did not care much for the meals. 
You never could get what you wanted. When 
you asked the royal butler for cold chicken, he 
6o 



OBSTINATE TOWN 


would always tell you he would rather you took 
cold ham. And if you wanted stewed kidneys, 
the butler right away said he preferred to give you 
broiled oysters. No matter what you asked for, 
the stubborn old butler always insisted on giving 
you something else, whether you liked it or not. 
And such an arrangement made Zep awfully cross. 

“I don’t see why you have such a butler,” he 
said to the Emperor. “When I ask our butler at 
home for anything, he gives it to me quick. He 
wouldn’t dare give me anything else. If he did 
my father would hang him.” 

“Humph!” responded the Emperor, “it seems to 
me your father must be a very cruel person. The 
idea of hanging any one for wanting his own way.” 

“But,” said Zep, “it’s so—so inconvenient. If 
they have their own way how can you have 
yours ?” 

“Well,” said the Emperor, “you can’t, with a 
butler, unless you go to the pantry and help your¬ 
self. And yet, why shouldn’t he have his way as 
well as you % Why shouldn’t he ?” 

61 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


And the Prince did not know what to say to that. 
But nevertheless it was tough to have every one 
else having their own way as well as you. When 
you got in a trolley car and told the conductor to 
let you off at a certain street, he would stop the 
car at another street, and unless you were stronger 
than he, would put you off there no matter how 
much you struggled and yelled. And one day, 
when the Emperor and Zep were put off six blocks 
from their destination, the monarch was dreadfully 
angry. 

“I know I told you I thought other people ought 
to have their own way the same as you and I / 5 he 
said to Zep, “but when a conductor not only puts 
me off his car before I want to get off, but kicks me 
into the bargain, it’s too much / 5 

“That’s what I think,” said Zep, “and if I were 
you I’d issue a royal decree saying that only the 
upper classes can have their own way always , and 
that the lower classes can only have their own way, 
when it suits the upper classes.” 

“A good idea,” said the Emperor, “I’ll do it.” 

62 




OBSTINATE TOWN 


And despite the fact that it made the lower 
classes fairly purple with indignation, the decree 
was issued at once, and Zep, and the Emperor, and 
the rest of the upper classes, did as they liked when¬ 
ever they wanted to, and had a fine time doing it. 

“I tell you what,” said the Emperor to the Prince 
one morning after breakfast as he finished reading 
the paper, “that was a grand idea of yours, Zep, 
about letting the lower classes have their own way 
only when it suited us. Life has been much 
sweeter ever since.” 

“I think so, too,” said Zep, “except that if no¬ 
body else could have their own way, it would be 
sweeter still.” 

“Hum,” said the monarch, “I never thought of 
that. And the more I think of it, the more I think 
you’re right. I know what I’ll do. I’ll issue an¬ 
other decree putting all the upper classes into the 
lower classes, except myself. Then I can do what¬ 
ever I want, no matter what anybody says.’ 

“But,” said Zep, “you wouldn’t put me in the 
lower classes, would you?” 

63 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Why not,” replied the Emperor. “Suppose 
I wanted my own way about something at the same 
time that you wanted your own way about it, the 
only way it could be managed without a fight, 
would be for you to be in the lower classes where 
you couldn’t have your own way unless it suited 
me. See?” 

“Yes,” said Zep, sulkily, “I see, but I don’t think 
it’s fair. Why not put yourself in the lower 
classes and let me stay in the upper class?” 

“Impossible,” said the Emperor, “for if any one 
ever belonged to the upper classes an Emperor 
does.” 

“So does a prince,” said Zep. 

“Not necessarily,” replied the monarch. “I had 
a dog named Prince once, but you never heard of 
a dog named Emperor, did you?” 

And as Zep could think of nothing to say to that, 
the Emperor issued his decree, and Zep and all the 
rest of the upper classes were put in the lower 
classes, and the monarch enjoyed himself more than 


ever. 


64 



OBSTINATE TOWN 


But if the Emperor enjoyed himself, Zep and 
the rest of the upper classes did not. For if they 
wanted to do something the Emperor always 
wanted them to do something different. And if he 
did not want that, he wanted them to do something 
nobody could do. And as Zep lived in the palace 
he had it worse than anybody else. 

He was told to hold his breath for an hour; to 
stand on his ear for half an hour, and not wink for 
fifteen minutes. And when he did not do what 
he was told because he could not, the Emperor 
stuck pins in him and dared him to yell. 

“See here,” said Zep to the monarch, “I used to 
like you but I don’t a bit any more. I’m going 
back home right off.” 

“Very well,” said the Emperor, “go ahead. I’m 
tired of you anyway. The idea of a strong, 
healthy boy not being able to stand on his ear, and 
making such a fuss, too, because a few pins are 
stuck in him. Go on, go back home.” 

“But,” said Zep, “how will I get thereI—I 
don’t know the way.” 


65 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Of course you don’t,” replied the monarch, “no¬ 
body does. There isn’t any way.” 

“Isn’t any way?” repeated the Prince in a tone 
of horror. “Why—why, have I got to stay here 
with you always?” 

The Emperor nodded. “Sure thing, unless a 
Kokkipop sends you back. The Poppykoks bring 
you here and the Kokkipops send you back. But 
as no one ever wants to go back it’s mighty hard 
to find a Kokkipop, so I guess I’ll be sticking pins 
in you for some time yet. Ho, ho, ho!” 

Well, you can be sure when the Emperor said 
that and laughed about it, too, Zep felt about as 
gloomy as he ever had in his life. 

“Oh, dear,” he said, “what on earth shall I do? 
If only I can get away from this nasty old place 
I’ll never want my own way again. I’ll be a dif¬ 
ferent boy. I never—” 

“Here, here,” put in the Emperor, sternly, “stop 
that talk. You mustn’t say such things as that. 
No one ever talks about not wanting their own 
way in Obstinate Town. It’s downright treason. 

66 



OBSTINATE TOWN 


Do you want to go to prison ? But anyhow, I don’t 
suppose you meant it.” 

“Indeed, I did,” said Zep, “I meant every word 
I said. I’m tired of having my own way—it’s 
silly. Look at the mess it’s got me into. I’m go¬ 
ing to be different—” 

“Stop!” shrieked the Emperor, at the top of his 
lungs, “stop, I say! You’ll have a Kokkipop here 
in another moment, and oh, how I hate ’em. I 
hate ’em worse than—than spiders. And—and, 
my goodness gracious sakes alive, you’ve brought 
one—you’ve brought one. Run, run, or the Kok¬ 
kipop will get you!” 

And with that the Emperor dived under his 
throne, while the Prince, looking about with a 
startled air, did not know whether to flee or not. 
And then, as he hesitated, a very brisk old gentle¬ 
man, dressed in bright yellow, came into the room. 

“Did you call'?” he asked Zep. 

“Call,” said the boy, “why—why, no. What 
do you mean?” 

“Did you call for a Kokkipop?” repeated the 

67 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


other testily. “And for mercy’s sake don’t say you 
didn’t, for I’ve been waiting for a call all my life. 
I was a young man when I joined the Kokkipops, 
and in all that time I have never been called until 
now. So I hope you did call. Did you?” 

“Well,” said Zep, “I said I wanted to go home, 
if that’s what you mean.” 

“And you said you didn’t want your own way 
any more, didn’t you?” inquired the Kokkipop, 
eagerly. 

“Yes,” replied the Prince, “I did. And I 
don’t.” 

“He does, too,” put in the Emperor, sticking his 
head out from under his throne. “He doesn’t 
mean what he says. He’s just mad at me for stick¬ 
ing pins in him.” 

“I don’t believe it,” said the Kokkipop, scowling 
at the Emperor, “you’re just trying to keep me out 
of a job.” Then he turned to the Prince. “You 
did mean what you said, didn’t you?” 

“I certainly did,” said Zep, “and—” 

68 



OBSTINATE TOWN 


“Whoopee!” yelled the Kokkipop, joyfully, 
“then I have got a job at last.” 

Whereupon he took off his coat, rolled up his 
sleeves, and began to paste magic postage stamps 
all over the Prince. “There,” he said, standing off 
to admire his work, “I guess that will take you back 
all right.” 

“Take him back,” sneered the Emperor, crawl¬ 
ing from under his throne, “why it’ll take him twice 
over. You’ve put excess postage on him. Shows 
what a Kokkipop knows about his business. 

“Is that so,” retorted the Kokkipop, “well, I 
know enough to send this boy where you won’t stick 
pins in him any more, and where he won’t want 
his own way any more.” He turned to Zep. 
“Isn’t that so V 

“Yes, indeed,” said the Prince. 

“Then,” responded the Kokkipop, “here’s to a 
quick and comfortable trip. Good-by, I’ll see you 
later.” 

“No—wait!” shouted the Emperor, running to- 

69 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


,vard Zep, “don’t go. I’ll put you in the upper 
classes again. I’ll—” 

But it was no use. Once again Zep felt himself 
leap into the air, and whiz, and whiz, and whiz, 
even faster than he had before. And then just as 
he was beginning to get used to the whizzing and 
rather enjoy it, he commenced to descend in a grace¬ 
ful curve, and presently landed with a bump in the 
gardens adjoining his father’s palace. And there, 
sitting on the grass, was the Kokkipop waiting for 
him. 

“Greeting,” said the Kokkipop, “did you have a 
nice trip?” 

“Fine,” said Zep, “but of course I’m glad it’s 
over and that I’m safe home again. And of course 
I’m awfully obliged to you for getting me out of 
such a scrape.” 

“Oh, that’s all right,” said the Kokkipop, as he 
peeled off the magic postage stamps, “it’s been a 
pleasure to help you. And who knows but you 
may try to have your own way again and be taken 
70 





OBSTINATE TOWN 


back to Obstinate Town. And if you do, don’t 
forget I’m always glad to get a job.” 

“All right,” said Zep, “I won’t, but I never ex¬ 
pect to visit Obstinate Town again if I can help it.” 

And sure enough Zep never did. From that mo¬ 
ment he was a changed boy, so much so that it really 
worried his father, the king. 

“I don’t understand it,” said the King to his 
Prime Minister. “He does just what I tell him 
and never whines; and when he takes a walk he 
jumps about a foot if a leaf falls on him. I don’t 
understand it.” 

But if the king did not, Zep did, and was de¬ 
termined no Poppykok should get another chance 
at him. 


71 





TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


Once there lived in the city of Vex a tailor 
named Toobad, which was a very good name for 
him, for he really was too bad for anything, in fact, 
he was downright wicked. And not only was he 
wicked but he was also deceitful, because he was 
really not a tailor at all but an enchanter or con¬ 
juror, and only practiced a tailor’s trade to fool the 
fathers, and grandfathers, and uncles, and big 
brothers of the little boys of Vex, and make them 
pay him money. And this the way he did it: 

He put a sign in his window and offered to make 
clothes for gentlemen very, very cheap out of the 
very, very best materials that would never wear 
out, and of course when he offered to do that all 
the fathers, and grandfathers, and uncles, and big 
brothers went and ordered their suits from him as 
quick as they could. But after the clothes were 
made and the fathers, and grandfathers, and 
7 ^ 


TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


uncles, and big brothers had put them on, then 
they found out, when it was too late, what sort of 
a person Toobad was, for they had to keep on pay¬ 
ing, and paying, and paying for the clothes for¬ 
ever and forever. If they did not the suits they 
were wearing got tighter and tighter until their 
breath was almost squeezed out of them. 

It was no use to try to get the clothes off because 
they simply would not come off. So you can 
imagine how cross and miserable all the fathers, 
and grandfathers, and uncles, and big brothers in 
Vex were. 

Now there were lots of little boys in Vex, but the 
most interesting one was a bright little fellow- 
named Winn, because in his family there happened 
to be a father, and a grandfather, and an uncle, 
and a big brother all wearing suits made by Too¬ 
bad the Tailor, whereas the other boys only had a 
father, or a grandfather, or an uncle, or a big 
brother. None of them had all four together, and 
therefore did not have as much cause to dislike 
Toobad as Winn had. 


73 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Of course when Winn’s father, and grandfather, 
and his uncle and his big brother, had paid for their 
suits once and Toobad had told them they must 
keep right on paying every week, they said they 
would not. But after the -suits had squeezed them 
once or twice, and after they had tried to get the 
clothes off and found they could not, they changed 
their minds. And every Saturday night as soon as 
they got their salaries they rushed right down to 
Toobad’s shop and paid him, so they would have a 
comfortable Sunday, which did not please Winn’s 
mother at all because it left very little to buy food 
with. 

“Good gracious,” she used to say to Winn’s 
father, and grandfather, and uncle, and big 
brother, “if you keep on giving that tailor half 
your money, I don’t know how I’ll get along.” 

“Indeed,” said Winn’s father, who was very fat, 
“and if I don’t pay it I don’t know how I’ll get 
along. I’ve got to breathe, haven’t IT’ 

“Yes,” said Winn’s grandfather, and his uncle, 
and his big brother, who were all as fat as his 

74 




TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


father, “we would much rather breathe than eat.” 

“All right, then,” said Winn’s mother, “go ahead 
and breathe but don’t blame me if you starve also, 
for food is so high, I can buy very little with the 
money you give me.” 

And when she said that Winn’s father, and his 
grandfather, and his uncle, and his big brother 
would groan awfully, which made Winn and his 
mother as blue as indigo, for they knew if Toobad 
was not paid, the clothes Winn’s father, and grand¬ 
father, and uncle and big brother wore would 
squeeze them tighter and tighter so they .could not 
work at all, and yet if he was paid there would not 
be enough money left to keep the wolf from the 
door. 

So finally Winn determined to go and see Too¬ 
bad and try and coax him not to be so hard on his 
folks. “Maybe if I offer to be his errand boy,” 
he said, “he’ll agree to let us stop paying for a 
while until we catch up with our grocery bills.” 

But when he got to the tailor’s shop he had a very 
hard time to coax Toobad into having an errand 

75 





THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


boy. “No, no,” said the enchanter, testily, “I 
don’t need an errand boy, and even if I did need 
one I need the money your family pays me much 
more.” 

“But think how stylish it is for a tailor to have 
an errand boy,” said Winn. “All fashionable 
tailors send clothes home to their customers. They 
never ask customers to come after their clothes. 
I should think you’d be ashamed not to have an er¬ 
rand boy.” 

So, finally, after talking and talking, Toobad 
agreed to hire Winn as his errand boy, and instead 
of giving him wages to let his family stop paying 
for their clothes for a few weeks. 

“But remember this,” said the tailor, “you are 
not to tell any one about the arrangement, because 
if you do all my customers will want to stop paying 
until they get caught up on their grocery bills.” 

So Winn promised to keep the matter secret and 
the next morning started in on his duties. 

Now it happened that one of the first persons 
he delivered clothes to was a second cousin of his 
76 




TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


mother’s aunt. This second cousin had not heard 
of the trouble in Winn’s family because Winn’s 
father, and grandfather, and uncle, and big brother 
had been afraid to tell any one what Toobad had 
done to them for fear their clothes would squeeze 
them worse than ever. So when Winn delivered 
his mother’s aunt’s second cousin’s clothes he did 
not know whether to warn him about putting them 
on or not. And while he was trying to make up 
his mind about it, his mother’s aunt’s second cousin 
went into another room to get the money to pay for 
the clothes, and when he came out he had the 
clothes on. 

“Gee whiz,” he said proudly, “don’t they fit me 
grand*?” 

“Maybe they do,” said Winn, “but I was just 
going to tell you not to put them on, because now 
you can’t get them off, and you’ve got to keep on 
paying for them forever and forever.” 

“What!’ yelled his mother’s aunt’s second 
cousin. 

And then with another yell he began tearing at 

77 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


the clothes with all his might, trying to get them 
off, but of course it was no use for although he al¬ 
most turned himself inside out, they stuck to him 
like sticking plaster. 

“You’re a nice one!” he shouted, shaking his fin¬ 
ger under Winn’s nose. “You ought to be ar¬ 
rested. How dared you sit there and let me put 
these awful things on? I just hope your father, 
and your grandfather, and your uncle, and your 
big brother get stuck the same way. I certainly 
do!” 

“They are stuck,” said Winn. “They’ve been 
stuck for some time. That is why I am working 
for Toobad. And I’m very sorry I did not warn 
you about the clothes in time.” 

And then he told his mother’s aunt’s second 
cousin what a fix his folks were in and how if you 
did not pay for the clothes every week they 
squeezed you until you did. 

“Sakes alive!” groaned his mother’s aunt’s sec¬ 
ond cousin, “isn’t it dreadful the trouble some peo¬ 
ple have? Here I am all dressed up fine but I 
78 




He began tearing at his clothes with all his might 




































THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


can’t enjoy it a bit after what you’ve told me.” 

Then he escorted Winn to the door and said he 
never wanted to see his face again. “I’m sorry to 
have to say it,” he continued, “but until you came 
a little while ago my life was full of sunshine and 
now it is nothing but a mud puddle. But I for¬ 
give you. Good-by!” 

Well, you may be sure Winn felt terribly 
gloomy as he went back to Toobad’s shop. When 
he hired out as the tailor’s errand boy in order to 
help his family, he had not thought how he would 
be bringing distress into other families by deliver¬ 
ing Toobad’s enchanted clothes. But he could 
see now, after the scene with his mother’s aunt’s 
second cousin, how selfish and wicked it was for 
him to help Toobad get other people into trouble 
in order to make things easier for his own folks. 
So he determined that he would give up his job 
right away. 

“I’ve decided not to be your errand boy any 
longer,” he said to the enchanter, as he handed him 
the money he had received from his mother’s aunt’s 
8o 




TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


second cousin. “I find you are too wicked to work 
for.” 

“Humph!” said the tailor, “and why am I any 
wickeder now than I was this morning'? You were 
glad to work for me then.” 

“I know,” said Winn, “but I have just seen my 
mother’s aunt’s second cousin turn from a carefree, 
happy person into a miserable wretch, and all be¬ 
cause I delivered him one of your enchanted suits 
of clothes. And I cannot help you in your crimes 
any longer even if my family do suffer. Good 
afternoon!” 

“Good afternoon nothing!” shouted Toobad. 
“Come back here at once. Yesterday when I did 
not want an errand boy you talked me into having 
one, and now that I’ve gotten used to having one 
you want me to do without one. Well, I shan’t 
do it. You’ll work for me whether you want to 
or not.” 

And with that he stretched out his hand toward 
Winn and then drew it back and when he drew it 
back something mysterious drew Winn back also, 
81 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


and though he tried to get to the door he could 
not move. 

“Now,” said Toobad, “will you work for me or 
not?” 

“No,” said Winn, firmly, “I will never work for 
you if I can help it.” 

“Very well, then,” said the enchanter, “you shall 
work for me because you cannot help it.” 

And with that he repeated the alphabet back¬ 
ward like lightning, wiggling his fingers at the 
same time, and in a flash Winn was transformed 
into a tailor’s dummy, after which Toobad placed 
him on the sidewalk outside his shop with one of 
the enchanted suits on him and with a sign on 
his breast which read: 

TAKE ME HOME FOR $3-75 

so people could see what fine, cheap clothes were 
sold inside. 

And maybe Winn did not feel bad as he stood 
there day after day not even able to roll his eyes 
or move or speak. And on Saturday night he felt 
82 



TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


particularly bad because his father, and his grand¬ 
father, and his uncle, and his big brother came by 
the shop arm in arm, all whistling merrily because 
they did not have to pay Toobad any money that 
week and were going to a movie instead. 

“My, my!” they exclaimed, when they saw 
Winn by the door, “doesn’t that image look ex¬ 
actly like our Winn, but of course it cannot be be¬ 
cause it’s made of wax.” And then the next mo¬ 
ment they went on their way as happy as larks. 

“Oh, dear!” said Winn to himself, miserably, 
“whatever am I going to do? How am I ever go¬ 
ing to escape from this terrible tailor? If only I 
could think of some way.” 

And later when Toobad had brought him in¬ 
doors and shut the shop, and gone off to bed and 
left him standing in a dark corner, he thought and 
thought with all his might, for he felt if he did not 
find some way to break the enchantment he might 
as well die. 

And then as he was still puzzling over the prob¬ 
lem he heard a stealthy step, and into the room 

83 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


came Toobad in his nightgown, holding a lighted 
candle in his hand, and Winn saw that he was 
walking in his sleep. And not only was he walk¬ 
ing in his sleep but he was talking in his sleep also, 
and this is what he was saying: 

Of all the gents who wear my clothes 
Not one has ever guessed, sir, 

That he could break the magic spell 
By pulling down his vest, sir. 

Oh, yes, indeed, there is no need 
Why he should be distressed, sir, 

If he but knows enchanted clothes 
Are governed by the vest, sir. 

And when Winn heard what he was saying he 
knew right away that if he could only escape he 
could easily get his father, and grandfather, and 
uncle, and big brother out of the power of Toobad 
the tailor, for he only had to tell them to pull down 
their vests and they would be rid forever of the 
hateful clothing they were wearing. But alas, it 
was one thing to want to get home, and another to 
get there, for while he was transformed into a 

84 



TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


tailor’s dummy he was utterly helpless and could 
only stand and watch Toobad as he wandered 
about the shop with his eyes shut and the lighted 
candle in his hand. 

And then all of a sudden something happened 
that transformed him from a tailor’s dummy into a 
very real boy, for Toobad, not seeing where he was 
going, bumped right into him and the flame of the 
candle came right against Winn’s nose—only for a 
moment—but it was long enough to scorch it and to 
make Winn yell—ouch! at the top of his lungs, and 
to joggle all the enchantment out of him. And if 
you did not believe an enchanted person can be 
cured by scorching his nose, just get yourself en¬ 
chanted and scorch your nose and see if it does not 
work. 

Anyway, it cured Winn, and not only that but 
it woke Toobad up. And when the tailor found 
himself in his shop with his nightgown on, and 
found Winn changed from a dummy into a regular 
boy again, he was furious. 

85 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Zounds!” he shrieked, dancing up and down, 
“how the—what the—where did I come from and 
how did you get all right again?” 

And when Winn told him he was more furious 
than ever. “Well,” he said, “I’ll soon fix you any¬ 
way.” And thereupon he began to say the alpha¬ 
bet backward the same as he had done before, but 
by the time he had said three letters and before the 
enchantment had had time to work, Winn rushed 
at him and knocked the candle to the floor. And 
then while the shop was in darkness he unhooked 
the door and ran home as fast as he could. When 
he got there it was past midnight and of course 
every one was asleep, but by and by his mother 
heard him knocking and let him in. 

And you may be sure it did not take his father, 
or his grandfather, or his uncle, or his big brother 
long to hop out of bed where they had been sleeping 
with their clothes on because they could not get 
them off. And maybe they were not surprised 
when they learned that Winn had really been the 
tailor’s dummy they had seen outside the shop. 

86 




TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


And maybe they were not delighted when they 
found that Winn knew of a way for them to get 
rid of the enchanted clothes. And maybe they did 
not pull down their vests in a hurry as soon as 
Winn had finished telling them about it. 

“My gracious,” said Winn’s grandfather, as he 
peeled the last of the hated garments from him, “I 
feel twenty years younger. And I can hardly wait 
until morning to get my hands on that villainous 
tailor.” 

“Nor I,” said Winn’s father. 

“Me, too,” said Winn’s uncle. 

“I daren’t tell you what I’ll do to him,” said 
Winn’s big brother. 

And the first thing after breakfast they all went 
around to Toobad’s shop dressed in their old 
clothes, and each one of them kept his word so 
well that Toobad was laid up in the hospital for a 
week. And every time he got well and came out 
again a fresh batch of victims was waiting to send 
him back again, for Winn had gone all about the 
city telling everybody who had bought the en- 

87 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


chanted clothes, how to pull down their vests and 
get rid of them. And, of course, one of the first 
persons he told after his immediate family was his 
mother’s aunt’s second cousin. But as his mother’s 
aunt’s second cousin had forgotten to put on his 
vest when he donned his enchanted suit, he could 
not pull his vest down. And so the only thing to 
do was to give him chloroform and skin the clothes 
off him a little strip at a time. After which they 
sent him to the hospital also, where he lay in bed 
right alongside of Toobad the tailor. 

And perhaps that is the reason Toobad is still in 
the hospital, for after Winn’s mother’s aunt’s sec¬ 
ond cousin got well, he refused to go home, but sat 
down on the hospital steps to wait for Toobad. 
And neither Winn’s father, nor his grandfather, 
nor his uncle, nor his big brother, were able to coax 
him away. 

But as for Winn, he did not try to coax him, in¬ 
deed he soon forgot all about his mother’s aunt’s 
second cousin, for all the persons in Vex who had 
been wearing Toobad’s enchanted clothes, began 
88 



TOOBAD THE TAILOR 


sending Winn presents to show their gratitude, 
and when you have sixteen gold watches, and a 
couple of ponies, and skates, and air guns, and 
pretty much every sort of a thing that a boy likes, 
you cannot think of much else. 

The best you can do is just to enjoy yourself, 
and if you think Winn is not doing that, take a trip 
to Vex some day and you will soon find out. 


89 




THE SNOOPING-BUG 

Once there was a Snooping Bug that lived in a 
glass jar on a shelf in the cottage of a Fairy God¬ 
mother. Now fairy godmothers are always nice, 
but this Fairy Godmother was very nice, and the 
reason she kept the Snooping Bug a prisoner in a 
jar on her shelf was because she was afraid he 
would go about and get folks into trouble. And 
another thing that showed she was unusually nice 
was that every week-end she always invited a little 
prince or princess to be her guest. And this story 
opens just as Prince Pranc, the only son of the king 
of a nearby city, had arrived to spend several days 
with his Fairy Godmother. 

“Now, Pranc,” said the Fairy Godmother, “I 
want you to have the happiest kind of a time, and 
you’ll have it without doubt if you don’t get into 
mischief.” 


90 


THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“Oh, that’s all right,” replied the Prince, as he 
watched the Fairy Godmother unpack his trunk, 
“if I get into mischief you just send me home 
again.” 

“Yes,” said the Fairy Godmother, “but suppose 
you are not here to send home again; suppose you 
have disappeared. Don’t forget this is an en¬ 
chanted house and that strange things can happen 
in an enchanted house.” 

“Phew!” said Pranc, “I almost wish I hadn’t 
come.” 

“Not at all,” replied the Fairy Godmother, 
“there is nothing to be alarmed about. You could 
sit on a keg of gunpowder and be perfectly safe 
if you didn’t explode the powder. But in case 
you should get into trouble, put this ring on your 
finger and turn it around and around when danger 
threatens.” 

“Oh, thank you,” said the Prince, slipping on 
the ring. “I don’t feel so worried now.” 

Then the Fairy Godmother took him all over the 
cottage and showed him the wonderful belongings 

91 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


she had, and last of all she took him into her study 
and there Pranc saw the Snooping Bug in his jar 
on the shelf. 

“What’s that?” he asked. 

And the Fairy Godmother told him it was a 
Snooping Bug. “And this one,” she continued, 
pointing to another jar on the shelf, “has a Sulking 
Bug in it; and this one—next to it, is a Crying Bug. 
If they got out of the jars they’d bite you, and 
you’d start in to snoop, or sulk, or cry.” 

“Whoever heard of such a thing,” said the 
Prince. “It can’t be.” 

“It can’t, eh,” said the Fairy Godmother. “Just 
put your finger on the top of this bottle when I take 
the cork out.” 

And with that she took the magic stopper out of 
the Crying Bug bottle and Pranc stuck his finger 
in. And then—ping—the next moment some¬ 
thing bit it, and the next moment he burst out cry¬ 
ing, boo-hoo—boo-hoo, as loud as he could. And 
as he was a boy who hardly ever cried, he felt aw¬ 
fully ashamed of himself. 

92 




THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“Oh, dear,” he sobbed, “I hate to cry this way, 
but—but—” 

“Don’t worry,” said the Fairy Godmother, as she 
corked the bottle again, “he only gave you a little 
bite. You’ll be over it in a minute.” 

And presently the tears stopped rolling down 
Pranc’s cheeks and he was all right once more. 

“My goodness,” he said, as he wiped his eyes, “I 
wouldn’t like that to happen again.” 

“Then,” said the Fairy Godmother, “see that 
you keep hands off these bottles. As long as the 
bugs stay in the bottles everything will be all right, 
but if they once get out they’ll bite every girl and 
boy they find. That is why I keep them prisoners. 
I don’t care for snooping, sulking or crying chil¬ 
dren, nor does any one else.” 

Then she told Pranc that she would have to 
leave him for awhile. “I have been invited to the 
christening of a princess,” she said. 

So she put on her gossamer cloak and her dia¬ 
mond studded bonnet, kissed her hand to Pranc 
and went off to the christening. But so interested 
93 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


was Pranc in the bugs on the shelf he hardly no¬ 
ticed her going, for the Sulking Bug looked so 
mad it almost startled him, and the Crying Bug 
had cried so much his bottle was half full of tears 
and he looked almost as mad as the Sulking Bug. 
But when it came to the Snooping Bug, it was a 
very different affair altogether, for the Snooping 
Bug, although he had a sly sort of expression in his 
big, pop eyes, was real jolly looking as he slowly 
scratched his shoulder blade with his hind leg. 
And when he saw the Prince looking at him, he 
winked one eye and then turned a couple of somer¬ 
saults, which made the Prince laugh like anything. 

“Gee whiz,” he exclaimed, “I like this bug.” 

And in order to get a better look at the creature 
he reached the jar down from the shelf and carried 
it over to the window, or at least he started to, but 
before he got there he stumbled—bing—the jar 
slipped from his hands, fell to the floor with a 
crash and broke into a thousand pieces, leaving the 
Snooping Bug kicking in the midst of the frag¬ 


ments. 


94 





The jar broke into a thousand pieces 




































THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh,” cried the Prince, “I must get something to 
put him in or he’ll get away.” 

“Nonsense,” remarked the Snooping Bug. 
“I’m not going away. You couldn’t drive me 
away. I’m going to stay with you.. But do get 
me out of this mess, please.” 

So Pranc, not suspecting anything, stooped to 
pick the Snooping Bug up and then as he did so— 
zip, the Bug bit his finger and in about eight sec¬ 
onds he changed from a first class little boy who 
always minded his own business and did not pry 
into things, into a sly, snooping fellow peering into 
corners, and closets, and everything. And as he 
changed, the Snooping Bug changed also. It 
swelled, and swelled, and swelled until it was half 
as big as Pranc. After which it chuckled, wig¬ 
gling the two long, wavy horns that grew over its 
eyebrows, and took the Prince by the hand. 

“Come on,” it said, “let’s start. My, but it feels 
good to get out of that jar.” 

“Start,” said Pranc, “start where?” 

96 





Floo the wizard at work. 

















THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“Why, to headquarters,” replied the Snooping 
Bug, “where you can snoop all you want.” 

So off they went to the Fairy Godmother’s pre¬ 
serve closet. “Open the door,” said the Snooping 
Bug. And when the Prince had done so the Snoop¬ 
ing Bug pushed Pranc inside and then followed, 
shutting the door after him. 

“My, but it’s dark,” exclaimed the Prince. 
“What are we going to do now?” 

“Just you wait,” said the Snooping Bug. Then 
he called out: “Going down!” And all of a sud¬ 
den a brilliantly lighted elevator came down right 
in front of them, the door slid open, Pranc and the 
Snooping Bug stepped inside, and then, ker-zip, 
ker-zip, ker-zip, the elevator began to drop, and 
drop, and drop, with the most awful dips. 

Goodness, how they did drop. The Prince 
thought they must have dropped about nine hun¬ 
dred miles when at last the elevator stopped after 
giving a terrible bounce or two, and the Snooping 
Bug shouted: “Here we are!” 

97 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Pranc wondered where “here we are” was as he 
looked up and down the street in which he pres¬ 
ently found himself standing, and was about to 
ask the Snooping Bug, when all of a sudden some 1 
body bumped into him and he turned to see a tall, 
slim fellow in a pink uniform with his hands full 
of letters which he had been reading as he walked 
along. Over one shoulder hung a leather bag 
which was crammed with other letters still in their 
envelopes, and on his head was a cap with a tassel 
and on the front of the cap it said “postman.” 

“What do you mean,” cried the stranger, 
sternly, “by interfering with the mails? Can’t 
you see I’m on government duty?” 

“Oh, excuse me,” said Pranc, “I didn’t mean to 
bump you, and I wouldn’t have done it if you 
hadn’t been reading those letters as you walked 
along.” 

“Indeed,” said the postman, “well if I didn’t 
read some of the letters as I walked about deliver¬ 
ing them I don’t know what I would do. I can’t 
read all of ’em at night, you know.” 

98 



THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“But,” said the Prince, “they are not your let¬ 
ters, are they 4 ?” 

“Of course not,” said the postman, testily, “who 
would write me all this lot of letters 4 ? They be¬ 
long to the different citizens of Snoopania.” 

“Oh,” said the Prince, “you don’t read other peo¬ 
ple’s letters, I hope.” 

“Well,” retorted the postman, opening his eyes 
very wide, “I should hope I did. If I didn’t I’d 
lose my job. Every letter must be torn open and 
read, and every postal card must not only be read 
but committed to memory. I could shut my eyes 
right now and tell you what I’ve read on a million 
postal cards only I haven’t the time. This is the 
way of it, you see: 

A postman’s life is a busy one, 

His working hours are never done. 

For all of the letters the public writes 
He has to read at home at nights; 

And all of the postals, yes, sir-ee, 

He has to commit to memoree. 

And' so if you think I’m cross a bit 
You’ll know my job is the cause of it. 


99 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


As he finished he suddenly noticed the Snooping 
Bug. “For mercy’s sake,” he exclaimed, “when 
did you get back? I thought the Fairy Godmother 
had you bottled up.” 

“She did,” said the Snooping Bug, “but thanks 
to this noble boy I’m out again. Where can I find 
the First Lord of the Keyhole? I want to make 
arrangements for parliament to reward my res¬ 
cuer.” 

“Well,” said the postman, “I think he’s at his 
office right now, if you hurry.” 

So, after bidding the postman good-by, the 
Snooping Bug hurried Pranc off to the office of the 
First Lord of the Keyhole. 

Soon they reached Parliament House where the 
First Lord of the Keyhole had his office, but when 
they tried to open the office door it seemed to stick. 
So Pranc gave it a push, and then a harder one, 
and all at once it opened wide and the Prince and 
the Snooping Bug staggering into the room saw in 
the middle of the floor a white-haired old gentle¬ 
man lying on his back. 


100 



THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“Shut the door,” commanded the old gentleman, 
scrambling to his feet. “Now,” he said, glaring 
at Pranc as he smoothed his clothing, “I suppose 
you know what you’ve done.” 

“No,” said the Prince, “what have I done*?” 
He looked at the old gentleman and then at the 
Snooping Bug. The old gentleman was very red 
in the face and the Snooping Bug seemed to be 
dreadfully worried. He took Pranc into a corner 
and whispered in his ear. 

“Don’t be frightened,” he said, rather hoarsely, 
“but you upset a peer of the realm when you opened 
the door. He was peering through the keyhole at 
you before he said ‘Come in,’ and you should have 
peered through the keyhole at him before you did 
come in. I don’t know whether I can get you off 
or not. I ought to have warned you.” 

“You certainly ought,” said the Prince. “How 
was I to know he was at the keyhole? It seems a 
very queer thing for an old gentleman like that 
to do.” 

“Not at all,” put in the old gentleman. “Ain’t 


101 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


I the First Lord of the Keyhole and head of the 
House of Peers? And don’t all the Peers of 
Snoopania peer through keyholes? Eh?” 

“I don’t know,” said Pranc. 

“Well, they do,” continued the old gentleman, 
“the same as the members of the House of Com¬ 
mons listen at keyholes. Where have you been all 
your life, anyway?” 

And then the Prince told him where his home was 
and how the Snooping Bug had brought him to 
Snoopania. “But,” he added, “I think I’d like to 
go back, if you don’t mind.” 

“Oh, come now,” put in the Snooping Bug, 
“you’ve only just arrived.” He turned to the 
First Lord of the Keyhole. “I think he’s worried 
for fear you’re going to have him punished for 
knocking you over. Are you ?” 

“Certainly,” snapped the First Lord of the Key¬ 
hole. “The dignity of the peerage must be main¬ 
tained.” 

“Well, I don’t think it’s fair,” said the Snooping 
Bug, hotly. 


102 




THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“Of course it isn’t fair,” retorted the old gentle¬ 
man. “We never do anything fair in Snoopania. 
You know that. If we did we wouldn’t snoop, 
would we?” 

Then he clapped his hands and six very jolly 
looking gentlemen entered in a single file. “This 
is the Committee on Extermination,” said the First 
Lord of the Keyhole, turning to the Prince. “The 
Chairman will arrange the details of your execu¬ 
tion.” 

“With pleasure,” said the Chairman of the Ex¬ 
terminating Committee, who was the jolliest look¬ 
ing man of them all. Then he patted Pranc on the 
head and asked in a kindly tone when he would like 
to have his head cut off. 

“What!” exclaimed the Prince, with a startled 
expression. 

“ When ,” repeated the Chairman, “would you 
like your head cut off?” 

“ Never ,” shouted Pranc, as loud as he could. 

“Never,” repeated the Chairman of the Ex¬ 
terminating Committee, looking rather pained. 

103 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh, but I say that won’t do at all. You must 
fix a time. We can’t cut your head off unless you 
do. It wouldn’t be legal.” 

“Indeed,” said Pranc, with a sigh of relief. 
“Well, I’m very glad to hear it.” 

And though every member of the Committee on 
Extermination argued with him, and the First Lord 
of the Keyhole shook his fist at him and sputtered 
like a fire-cracker, he simply would not say when he 
would like his head cut off. 

“Well,” said the First Lord of the Keyhole to the 
Chairman of the Exterminating Committee, “we’ll 
have to appeal to the King about the matter. This 
boy doesn’t know what he wants.” 

“Oh, yes, he does,” said the Snooping Bug. 

“He does not” thundered the First Lord of the 
Keyhole. 

“He does, too,” retorted the Snooping Bug, “and 
if you see the King, we’ll see him, too.” 

So everybody started off for the palace and never 
stopped until they stood outside the monarch’s 
sitting-room. “Wait a moment,” said the Chair- 
104 




THE SNOOPING-BUG 


man of the Exterminating Committee, “until I see 
whether he is busy.” Whereupon he put his eye 
to the keyhole. “Yes,” he said, straightening up 
again, “he is quite busy snooping under his bath¬ 
room door.” 

“But,” said Pranc, “what’s the use of that*?” 

“What’s the use of anything 1 ?” snapped the 
First Lord of the Keyhole. “Practice makes per¬ 
fect, and the more you snoop the better you can do 
it. The King of Snoopania does not believe in 
wasting his time, sir.” 

And sure enough the monarch did not, for when 
they opened the door and went in, he had his head 
in the fireplace. 

“Oh, how do you do,” he said, pulling it out 
again. 

“Are you very much engaged 1 ?” inquired the 
Chairman of the Exterminating Committee. 

“Well,” said the King, “I only just got through 
with the bathroom and I did want to finish the 
chimney this morning, sure, but it doesn’t matter. 
What is it?” 

10 S, 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“This boy,” said the Chairman of the Extermin¬ 
ating Committee, “is to have his head cut off but 
he won’t say when. He doesn’t know what he 
wants, so we’d like to know if you know.” 

“Of course he doesn’t know,” put in Pranc, im¬ 
patiently. “I’m the only one who knows. And 
besides what is the use of asking a king who spends 
his time peeking up chimneys? I never heard of a 
king doing such a thing.” 

Well, if the Prince had walked up to the mon¬ 
arch and boxed his ears he could not have aston¬ 
ished him or the rest of the party more. For a 
moment no one said anything, they just looked at 
each other in horror, and then the King turned red, 
white and blue in the face with rage. 

“You—you—you—•” he bawled, glaring at 
Pranc, “you’re an imitation snooper. You don’t 
know the first principles of snooping. What are 
you doing in Snoopania anyway?” Then he 
yelled for his soldiers to come and cut the Prince’s 
head off at once—at once. He repeated it twice 
so they would not misunderstand. 

106 




THE SNOOPING-BUG 


But the Prince did not wait to see whether they 
understood or not, no sir-ee. He was thoroughly 
disgusted with snooping, snoopers and Snoopania, 
and determined to get back to his Fairy God¬ 
mother’s cottage at once if it could possibly be 
done. So when the King’s soldiers entered the 
room to seize him he waited until they came very 
near, and then he twisted the ring the Fairy God¬ 
mother had given him, and bing—flat on their 
backs the soldiers fell, bumping their heads like 
anything. 

“Good-by,” cried Pranc, waving his hand to the 
Snooping Bug, “I’m going home.” 

“Wait,” shouted the Snooping Bug, “I’ll go with 
you.” 

“No,” replied the Prince, “I’ve had quite enough 
of snoopers and snooping bugs. You stay where 
you are.” 

Then he jumped over the prostrate soldiers and 
out the door of the palace. Up the street he ran 
until he met the postman. “Where’s the ele¬ 
vator?” he panted. 

107 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Straight ahead,” replied the postman, “but if 
you’ll wait a moment I’ll tell you what was on 
some of those postal cards I spoke about.” 

“I can’t,” said Pranc, “the King’s soldiers are 
after me. I’d like to, but—” 

“Yah!” With a shout a whole regiment of the 
King’s soldiers rushed around the corner and made 
a grab at him, but quick as a wink Pranc twisted 
the Fairy Godmother’s ring once more, and bing— 
over went the soldiers on their backs and hit their 
heads bang, and by the time they were able to sit 
up and rub the bumps, the Prince had reached the 
elevator. “Up,” he shouted, and up the elevator 
went with a leap, and a moment later stopped in¬ 
side the preserve closet. 

“My!” said Pranc, as he opened the closet door 
and stood once more in the Fairy Godmother’s cot¬ 
tage, “my, but I’m glad to be back.” 

Then he went out on the front porch where the 
Fairy Godmother was sitting in a rocking chair 
knitting, and told her all that had happened to him. 

“I’m not surprised,” said the Fairy Godmother. 
108 



THE SNOOPING-BUG 


“When I got back from the christening and found 
that the Snooping Bug had disappeared and you 
also, I knew you had done something you should 
not have, and that you were probably having a time 
of it.” 

“Yes,” said the Prince, “and if it had not been 
for your ring I would have had a worse time. I’m 
awfully sorry I lost your Snooping Bug.” 

“Oh, that’s all right,” said the Fairy Godmother. 
“Any time you’d like to borrow my Crying Bug 
or my Sulking Bug, just help yourself.” 

“No-thank-you,” replied Prance. “NO-thank- 
youl No more bugs for me.” 


109 




THE WRONG JACK 


There are lots and lots of boys named Jack and 
some of them have been quite celebrated, like the 
Jack who planted the famous beanstalk. But the 
Jack this story is about was just a bright, jolly 
little fellow who lived in a country home with his 
father and mother, and who had never had any 
adventures more exciting than catching minnows 
in the creek or getting stung by a hornet in the 
garden. 

And so you may be sure he was very much sur¬ 
prised to find himself in a terrific fix one summer 
morning as he was digging for worms back of the 
barn where a wild grapevine grew. And this is 
how it happened. 

Every time he wanted to go fishing he always 
dug for worms in the same place, and as a conse¬ 
quence he had made quite a deep hole, but of course 
he never thought anything about that. Or at least 


110 





Out of the hole came a giant 












THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


he did not until his spade struck something hard 
and a rumbling voice said: “Ouch!” And then 
the ground under his feet began to heave and 
heave, and before he could gather his wits and run 
away, out of the hole came a giant, head first and 
scowling like anything. And even then Jack did 
not run—he was too frightened. He just stayed 
where he was and trembled. 

“So,” said the giant, rubbing a lump over his left 
eyebrow, “you’re the chap who thumped me, eh 1 ? 
What do you mean by such actions’?” 

“Noth—noth—nothing,” stammered Jack. “I 
—I—I didn’t know you were in there. I—I—I 
was digging for worms.” 

“I don’t believe it,” growled the giant. “You 
were digging to find out if I was dead. Well, I’m 
not, even if my fall did drive me underground. 
And now I’ll thank you to hand over my magic 
harp, and my money bags, and my hen that lays the 
golden eggs.” 

“I—I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 


112 





THE WRONG JACK 


said Jack. "I haven’t got your harp, or your hen, 
or your money bags. All I’ve got is a can of worms 
and a fishing line. You must have mistaken me 
for somebody else.” 

“Hum!” said the giant, looking at him sharply, 
“well, maybe I have. What is your name*?” 

“Jack,” answered the boy. 

“Jack,” bellowed the giant. “Did you say 
Jack?’ 

“Why—why, yes,” replied our hero. “What— 
what of it?’ 

“What of it?’ repeated the monster, “why 
everything of it. You tell me your name is Jack 
and yet you say you don’t know anything about my 
harp, or my hen, or my money bags. I suppose 
you’ll say next you didn’t cut down the beanstalk 
and almost make me break my neck?” 

“Never,” shouted Jack, “I never did. I never 
had a beanstalk. It was that other Jack in the 
story. You needn’t blame it on me.” 

And he said it so earnestly the giant hesitated. 

113 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Well,” he grumbled, scratching his head and 
frowning at the boy, “I may be wrong but it seems 
very queer that your name should be Jack also. 
And it seems even queerer that you should be dig¬ 
ging in the exact spot where I fell down the bean¬ 
stalk. Hang it all, I don’t know what to think.” 
Then suddenly he clapped his hands together like 
thunder. “I know what I’ll do, I’ll take you back 
home and ask my wife. She has a wonderful mem¬ 
ory for faces and she can tell if any one can.” And 
with that he caught up Jack and commenced to 
climb the grapevine. 

“Oh,” cried the boy, peering out of the pocket 
where the giant had tucked him, “this isn’t a bean¬ 
stalk, this is a grapevine and it isn’t very strong. 
You’ll have another fall if you don’t look out.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the giant, “I must find my 
wife.” 

And he went on climbing, and climbing, and 
climbing, which much surprised Jack for he had no 
idea the grapevine was so high, and he had thought 
sure it would break when the giant got upon it. 
114 




THE WRONG JACK 


But it did nothing of the sort, and at last they came 
to the end and found themselves standing before 
the giant’s house. 

“Now,” said the giant, “we’ll soon find out 
whether you’re the wrong Jack or not.” 

But when they reached the front door he gave a 
shout, for there he saw a sign which said: 

TO LET 

and found that all the shutters were shut and not a 
soul about. 

“Zounds!” yelled the monster, “what is the mat¬ 
ter, and where is everybody? And what does ‘to 
let’ mean?” 

“Why,” said Jack, crawling out of the giant’s 
pocket and sliding down his leg to the ground, “I 
think it means that your house is for rent to any¬ 
body that wants it. Your wife must have moved 
away.” 

“What?” bawled the giant, “my wife gone and 
my house left for any one that wants it? Oh, wait 
until I catch her!” 


115 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Then he stamped his feet and tore his beard, and 
carried on something dreadfully, until he had to sit 
down on the grass to get his breath. 

“Well,” he said, after a pause, “the only thing 
to do is to hunt until we find her, for I can’t find 
out whether you’re the wrong Jack until she sees 
you. So come along and we’ll see if the neighbors 
can tell us anything.” 

Whereupon he set off across the country with 
Jack running by his side until presently they came 
to a tumble-down cottage. 

“Here is where Goog, the ogress lives,” said the 
giant. “She belonged to the same sewing circle as 
my wife so maybe she knows where she is.” And 
he knocked at the cottage door. 

“Why, hello, Blunderbuss!” exclaimed the og¬ 
ress, smiling a very bristly sort of a smile as she 
answered the summons. “Where did you come 
from*? I thought you were dead.” 

“Indeed,” said Blunderbuss, “and I suppose my 
wife thought the same thing and that is the reason 
she has locked up my house and marked it ‘to let.’ ” 
116 



THE WRONG JACK 


“Exactly,” replied Goog. “She waited and 
waited after you fell down the beanstalk and then 
decided you had broken your neck. So she closed 
the house, sold the family jewels to get spending 
money, and then started out to enjoy herself for 
once in her life.” 

“Started out to enjoy herself,” repeated the 
giant. “That’s a nice way for a lady to act when 
she thinks her husband has broken his neck. And 
where is she now, pray 4 ?” 

“I couldn’t say,” replied the ogress. “Seeing as 
we belonged to the same sewing circle I invited 
her here, but she just sniffed and said she had no 
use for the lower classes now, so I guess she is cut¬ 
ting up high jinks somewhere.” 

“Scandalous!” said the giant, “but I am not go¬ 
ing to give up searching until I find her, for I want 
to know whether this boy is the one who planted the 
beanstalk and took my things. He says his name 
is Jack, but beyond that I can’t be sure, but I think 
my wife could tell the moment she saw him, she 
has such a fine memory. Good morning.” 

117 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


So they bade the ogress good-by and resumed 
their travels until presently, as they rounded a 
bend in the road, they saw before them a towering 
castle of brass, all gleaming in the sun. 

“This,” said Blunderbuss, “is the house of the 
Duke of Dishwater, and I’m going to see if my wife 
is here, for although he is very, very swell, he is 
also very, very poor, and it is quite possible that 
Mrs. Blunderbuss with all that spending money, 
has been able to break through his reserve and get 
invited for the week end.” 

With that he struck the castle gate a blow with 
his fist and it swung open admitting them to a huge 
courtyard where the Duke, an exceedingly haughty 
looking gentleman with a Roman nose and a ruff 
about his neck, stood waiting for them. 

“How do you do*?” cried the giant, “is my wife 
here? If she is I’ll pull your castle up by the roots 
and twirl it around my head. If she isn’t, I’ll have 
to hunt elsewhere. Hurry up, say what you’ve got 
to say. I have no time to lose.” 

“Why—why—well—well—” stammered the 
118 




THE WRONG JACK 


Duke, “I—I—I think under the circumstances I 
had better say she is not here.” 

“All right,” said the giant, “then I’ll be trotting 
along, but I’ll leave this boy with you. Put him 
in your safe deposit box, for when I find my wife 
I’ll have need of him.” 

Then kicking the gate open again he strode 
through it and down the road out of sight. 

For a moment the Duke of Dishwater looked at 
Jack, and Jack looked at the Duke of Dishwater. 
After which the nobleman took off his wig and 
mopped his head nervously with his handkerchief. 
“My, my,” he said, fretfully, “whoever heard of 
pulling one’s castle up by the roots. Wretched 
taste, I call it.” 

“But,” said Jack, “he won’t do it if Mrs. Blun¬ 
derbuss isn’t here.” 

“Quite so,” said the Duke, “but Mrs. Blunder¬ 
buss is here. She has been visiting us for a week.” 

“Then,” said Jack, severely, “you told a fib.” 

“Not a regular fib, no sir-ee,” replied the Duke, 
“I only said ‘under the circumstances’ I had better 
119 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


say she wasn’t here, so he wouldn’t pull my castle 
up. And now the next thing is to see she isn’t here 
when he comes back. Excuse me.” 

With that he rushed indoors and yelled for his 
wife to tell the giant’s wife to pack up her things 
and go away right off. 

But when the Duchess told Mrs. Blunderbuss 
as politely as she could that it was time for her to 
go home, the giant’s wife was perfectly furious. 

“Never in all my life have I been so insulted,” 
she cried. “The idea of inviting a person to pay 
you a visit and then telling her to go home. 
Well, I’m not going to do it. I’ll stay here 
whether you want me or not.” 

“But,” said the Duke of Dishwater, “you don’t 
understand. Your husband is hunting for you 
and if he finds you here he’ll pull my castle up by 
the roots.” 

“What do I care about your old castle,” 
snapped Mrs. Blunderbuss. “And anyway, he 
couldn’t because he’s deader than a doornail; so 
there.” 


120 



THE WRONG JACK 


“Oh, no, he isn’t,” put in Jack. “You may 
think he is, but he isn’t. That fall down the 
beanstalk only stunned him.” 

And then he told the giant’s wife how he had 
dug Blunderbuss out and how the giant had 
brought him back because he thought that Jack 
was the boy who had run off with his property. 
“And,” went on the boy, “he won’t believe I am 
the wrong Jack until you tell him so. And of 
course you can see I am the wrong Jack, can’t 
you?’ 

“Maybe I can, and maybe I can’t,” said Mrs. 
Blunderbuss, crossly. “Anyway it’s your fault 
he has come back and that’s enough for me to 
worry about without worrying to remember 
whether you’re the wrong Jack or the right one, I 
reckon.” 

And having made that announcement she 
marched upstairs to her room with her nose in the 
air. 

“My gracious,” gasped Jack, “if that isn’t the 
meanest thing I ever heard of.” 

121 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Well,” said the Duke, “you needn’t scowl at 
me. ’Taint my fault!” 

Then, taking out his snuff box, the Duke of 
Dishwater helped himself to a generous pinch and 
marched upstairs with his nose in the air. 

Well, as you can see, this left Jack in a very 
unhappy frame of mind, for how in the world was 
he ever going to get back home unless he could 
prove to Blunderbuss that he was not the Jack who 
had planted the beanstalk 4 ? And the more he 
thought about the matter the more perplexing it 
seemed, so finally he decided to run away and try 
to find the place where the grapevine grew up to 
the giant’s house, and then climb down it quickly 
before the giant came back. 

So when the Duke called downstairs to tell him 
to hurry and get in the safe deposit box, he said 
“all right,” but instead of going upstairs he 
slipped out the front door into the courtyard. 
Then, while the man-at-arms on guard was busily 
talking to one of the scullery maids, he softly un¬ 
bolted the gate and ran off as fast as he could. All 


122 




THE WRONG JACK 


that day he traveled back over the road he had come 
with the giant, and then when he reached the cot¬ 
tage of Goog, the ogress, although he knew it was 
very dangerous to do so, he could not resist peek¬ 
ing in at the window. And there she was, uglier 
than ever, stirring the big pot over the fire and sing¬ 
ing in a horrible cracked voice: and this is what she 
sang: 

Oh, Jack, he took the money bags 
I don’t know where they are. 

And Jack he took the giant’s harp 
And carried it afar. 

And Jack he took the magic hen 
But when it was unloosed, 

It did what every chicken does, 

It came back home to roost. 

And when I want some golden eggs— 

(Real solid gold—I weigh ’em) 

I go to Blunderbuss’s house 
And get his hen to lay ’em. 

And then chuckling, she put on her bonnet, and 
took her stick and came out of her cottage door, not 
noticing Jack peering around the corner. And 
away she went over the hill to the giant’s house. 
123 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


When she got there she pulled open a shutter and 
climbed in, after which she scattered corn over the 
floor, and presently into the room scampered the 
magic hen and after it had eaten the corn it began 
to lay one golden egg after the other until the 
ogress had her apron full. And Jack, watching 
through the shutter, was awfully astonished and 
understood what she meant by singing about chick¬ 
ens coming home to roost. Evidently the stolen 
hen had come back and no one knew it but Goog, 
and she was getting rich on the eggs it laid. 

“My,” said Jack to himself, “wouldn’t the giant 
be mad if he knew?” 

So when the ogress had gone back to her cottage 
to put away her golden eggs, Jack pulled open the 
shutter and climbed into the room where the magic 
hen was going about clucking proudly because she 
had laid so many eggs. And before the hen knew 
what was going to happen he grabbed her, tucked 
her under his arm, climbed out of the window again 
and ran off to see if he could find where the grape¬ 
vine was. 


124 



THE WRONG JACK 


“Gee whiz!” he chuckled, “if I can only get 
home with this hen we’ll be so rich my father won’t 
have to work again. We can have automobiles 
and steam yachts and everything.” 

And then all of a sudden he remembered that the 
hen did not belong to him and that if he took it 
he would be stealing, so after thinking over the 
matter a moment he decided it would not do and 
turned back to the giant’s house to replace what he 
had taken. But before he had gone half way he 
heard a trampling sound and saw the giant com¬ 
ing toward him carrying the Duke’s castle in his 
hand with the roots of it dragging on the ground, 
and with the Duke, and the Duchess, and Mrs. 
Blunderbuss hanging out of the windows, wailing 
and wringing their hands. 

Quick as a wink Jack thrust the hen beneath his 
blouse, and presently the giant stood towering over 
him. 

“So,” shouted Blunderbuss, dropping the castle 
to the ground with a bang, “you ran away, did you? 
Well, now, I think I’ll give every one of you to the 
125 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


ogress to put in her pot. And I think, he contin¬ 
ued, looking at Jack more closely, “that you’ll 
please her especially, for you certainly are fatter 
than when I saw you last.” 

“All right,” said Jack, feeling dreadfully fright¬ 
ened, but trying his best not to show it, “do as you 
like, but if you do you’ll be sorry, for I know where 
your magic hen is and I sha’n’t tell you if you give 
me to the ogress.” 

“Well,” shouted the giant, “where is my hen 1 ?” 

And then Jack told him how he had followed the 
ogress and watched her take the golden eggs, and 
maybe the giant was not furious when he heard 
that. 

“Right in my own house,” he bellowed. “Well, 
it won’t take me long to get my hen now.” 

“Oh,” said Jack, coolly, “your hen isn’t there. I 
took her away and hid her, and when you let me go 
home, and when you forgive your wife, and when 
you replant the castle, I’ll give her back, but not 
before.” 

And having said that, he remarked “ho, hum,” 
126 



THE WRONG JACK 


whirled about on his heel and whistled carelessly 
as though he did not care whether the giant ac¬ 
cepted his offer or not, but of course he did care, 
and so did the Duke, and his wife, and Mrs. Blun¬ 
derbuss, but when they saw Jack let on that he did 
not care, they let on, too, and said “ho, hum” and 
whirled about and whistled, too. 

And of course when the giant noticed that appar¬ 
ently nobody cared a whoop what he did or what he 
did not do, he did just what they wanted him to 
do, and promised everything Jack asked, in order 
to get back his magic hen. 

“Very good,” said Jack, “then here she is.” 
And opening his blouse he pulled out the giant’s 
property and handed it to him. 

“Ho, ho,” growled the giant, “so that’s what 
made you so fat, eh 4 ? Well, I suppose there’s 
nothing to do but to tell you where the grapevine 
is.” 

“All you have to do,” he said, “is to climb 
straight down and you’ll be home in ten minutes, 
but before you start I wish you would come with 
127 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


me to the ogress’s cottage so I can have proof when 
I accuse her of stealing the golden eggs my hen 
laid.” 

So Jack, and the Duke and the Duchess, and Mr. 
and Mrs. Blunderbuss hurried off to where Goog 
lived, and the giant, pointing to Jack, told the 
ogress what the boy had seen. 

“And now,” he bawled, angrily, “you’ll just 
hand back those eggs and hand ’em back quick.” 

“Dear me,” replied the ogress, “I’m awfully 
sorry, but they’re all in the pot boiling. Look in 
and you can see for yourself.” 

And when the giant bent over the sizzling pot 
she gave him a push and in he went head over heels. 
“Ouch!” he roared, trying to jump out of the scald¬ 
ing water. 

“No, you don’t,” shrieked Goog. 

But when she tried to push him back he grabbed 
her and bing—into the pot went the ogress also, 
and in about four minutes both the giant and the 
ogress were stewing and steaming, and boiling, and 
that was the end of them. 

128 



THE WRONG JACK 


And when Jack saw that, he thought it was time 
for him to leave, so he stole away to where the 
grapevine grew and climbed down it as quickly as 
he could. And you may be sure when he got to 
the bottom he took the ax and chopped down the 
grapevine just like the other Jack chopped down 
the beanstalk. 


129 




THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


No doubt you will think this story begins in a 
very strange place when you learn that it starts on 
board a Chinese junk or ship, as it sailed up a 
muddy Chinese river on its way to the city of Ki Yi. 

Now most Chinese ships are dingy and dirty but 
this particular junk was just the opposite. Its 
sails were new, its decks neat and clean, and all be¬ 
cause it carried a mandarin of high rank on his way 
to a wedding feast in the distant town. Very fat 
this mandarin was, and very smiling, and the wed¬ 
ding presents he carried were enormously valuable 
—gold and silver, and silks and jewels—packed 
away in his cabin; and the sight of them made the 
mouths of the captain and crew water. So finally 
the sailors and their commander determined to 
throw the mandarin overboard and take the pres¬ 
ents for themselves. 

However, as Chinese people are always polite, 
130 


THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


no matter what the circumstances, instead of going 
below and seizing him without another word, they 
sent the cabin boy, Dong, down with a note request¬ 
ing the pleasure of the mandarin’s presence on 
deck at once and expressing their deep regret that 
they would have to put an end to him. 

“Ahem!” remarked the mandarin, as he finished 
reading the note, “how very kind of them.” 

Then looking over his horn spectacles he exam¬ 
ined Dong, the cabin boy, as he stood before him. 
“I’m awfully sorry,” he said, “that a boy like you 
—you can’t be more than seven—and such a nice 
looking boy, too, should join in such a wicked con¬ 
spiracy. How would you like to be drowned*?” 

Dong shook his head. “I wouldn’t like it,” he 
said. 

“No more do I,” replied the mandarin, “and yet, 
unless you save me, I shall be.” 

“But,” said Dong, “how can I save you*? I 
would if I could, but I am only a boy.” 

“That makes no difference,” said the mandarin; 
“if you are a brave boy, you can do it. 

131 





THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Then he handed Dong a large fan and told him 
to go up on deck and fan the captain and the crew 
with three big sweeps and they would dissolve like 
mist. ‘Td do it myself , 55 he continued, “but I 5 m 
afraid they’d seize me before I could get a chance 
to do it and throw me overboard. But of course 
they will not suspett you . 55 

So Dong, trembling with excitement, took the 
fan and climbed the ladder to the deck. 

“Well , 55 asked the captain of the junk, “is the 
mandarin coming 4 ? 55 

“No , 55 replied Dong, opening the fan with a jerk, 
“he is not. He declines your invitation and says 
he prefers to remain in his cabin with the wedding 
presents . 55 

“Oh, he does, does he ! 55 bawled the captain. 
“That’s what we get for being polite . 55 

Then he shouted for the crew to follow him and 
started for the mandarin’s cabin, but Dong, all 
ready with the fan open, quickly stepped in front 
of him, gave three big sweeps, and pish! the cap- 
.132 



THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


tain and the entire crew of the junk disappeared 
completely. 

“Gracious!” gasped the boy, closing the fan 
quickly for fear he might fan himself, “wasn’t that 
awful?” Then he ran down to the cabin and told 
the mandarin what he had done. 

“Ah,” exclaimed the mandarin, in a tone of great 
satisfaction, rubbing his hands together, “I’m very 
glad to hear it, and I’m sure they are better off 
where they are, wherever they are. And now let 
me have my fan back, please.” 

And then the moment he got his fan back he 
stood up very straight and rapped the palm of his 
right hand once with it, and to Dong’s amazement 
there appeared at his right side another man ex¬ 
actly like him. Then he rapped the palm of his 
left hand twice and there appeared at his left side 
another man exactly like him. Whereupon the 
three men bowed to each other affably and then 
shook hands. 

“Permit me,” said the mandarin, “to introduce 

133 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


my two brothers, Sin Sum Tu and Sin Sum Wen. 
My name is Sin Sum. And while I am explaining 
things to you let me say that I am not a mandarin; 
that I am not on my way to a wedding; and that the 
goods I have are not wedding presents.” 

“What,” exclaimed Dong, “not a mandarin and 
not going to a wedding? Then what are you?” 

“I—that is, we,” replied the supposed mandarin, 
“are the Second Story Brothers, the cleverest porch 
climbers in China. In other words we are robbers, 
and famous ones, too. Why we’ve even written a 
song about ourselves. It goes like this.” Throw¬ 
ing back his head he sang and his brothers joined in: 

The sailor sings of the ocean blue, 

For that is the proper thing to do. 

The soldier sings of the battles fought 
With a hip hurrah as a soldier ought. 

But, oh, our song it beats all others— 

The song of the Second Story Brothers— 

And this is the way the ditty closes 
As we sing it softly through our noses: 

Look out for your money bags and diamond studded pin, sir. 
Look out, for the outlook is that some night we’ll look in, sir. 

134 




THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


Ask your fathers what to do, or better, ask your mothers. 
Be prepared to guard against the Second Story Brothers. 

“Well,” said Dong, when they had finished, “I 
think it was a very mean trick you played on me. 
See what I did to the captain and the crew because 
I thought you were a mandarin and they were go¬ 
ing to rob you. And here you are, a robber your¬ 
self.” 

“Quite true,” said Sin Sum, “I admit it was a 
mean trick, but no meaner than the captain was 
going to play on me. And as for yourself you can 
have a much better job with us than you had be¬ 
fore.” 

And with that he told Dong that when the junk 
got to Ki Yi they were going to stay on it in the 
day time and at night they would rob the houses of 
the wealthy people. “And all you will have to 
do,” he continued, “is to remain in the cabin and 
sell the stolen property we bring you, to the vari¬ 
ous customers that call. Now how does that strike 
you, my boy?” 

“No, sir,” replied Dong, “I shall not do it. I 

135 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


may be only a cabin boy, but I’m an honest one. I 
have no desire to become a robber.” 

“But listen,” put in the other two Second Story 
Brothers, “think how famous you may get to be. 
And if you should get caught and be beheaded, 
they’d put your picture on souvenir postals, per¬ 
haps.” 

“I don’t care,” said Dong, “I’d rather make my 
living some other way.” 

“Well, you’re not going to do it,” snapped Sin 
Sum, angrily. “You’re going to make your living 
with us, and we’re not going to coax you any longer, 
either. And if you try to run away I’ll fan you 
into nothing like you did the captain and the crew.” 

So Dong had no choice but to join the robbers, 
and the next night after the vessel got to Ki Yi, Sin 
Sum made him go with him on a looting expedition. 

“I just want to show you how it is done,” he 
said, “in case one of us gets sick or something, so 
you can take his place.” 

Then he led the way ashore and presently Dong 
found himself standing before a handsome build- 
136 



THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


ing surrounded by a high wall. “This is the Vice¬ 
roy’s palace,” said Sin Sum, “and I am going to 
steal the family jewels.” 

“But how will you get over the wall?” inquired 
the boy. 

“Oh, that’s easy,” replied Sin Sum. “All I have 
to do is to fan a hole in it.” 

So taking out his fan he waved it three times and 
instantly part of the wall melted away. And then 
after they had passed through the gap he fanned 
another hole in the front door, and in a jiffy they 
were upstairs in the Viceroy’s bedroom. 

“Of course,” said the robber, “when there is a 
porch I prefer to climb to the top of it as a second 
story man should, but when there is none I just fan 
my way in.” 

By this time he had fanned most of the bureau 
drawers open and in a moment more had found the 
family jewels. Then having found them, he 
fanned them also, and pish! they disappeared, case 
and all. 

“Goodness,” exclaimed Dong, “now you have 

137 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


done it. What did you dissolve them for?” 

Sin Sum chuckled. “Wait till we get back to 
the boat and I’ll show you.” 

As he spoke the Viceroy and his wife began to 
toss about in their bed and it was evident that the 
conversation was beginning to awaken them. 

“Quick,” said Dong, “let’s get out or they’ll 
catch us.” 

“Huh!” said Sin Sum, “they’d better not. If 
they wake up and make any fuss, I’ll give them a 
fanning they won’t forget.” 

And no doubt he would have dissolved the regal 
couple without the slightest hesitation if Dong had 
not coaxed him out of the palace and back to the 
junk. 

When they got there they found that Sin Sum’s 
two brothers, who had also been out burglaring, 
had arrived before them. 

“Now,” said Sin Sum, “let’s count up what we 
got to-night.” 

Taking a little book from beneath his sash he 
turned the pages. “H—I—J—jewels,” he said. 
138 



THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


“Let’s see how many raps for jewels. Ah, here it 
is, seven raps for jewels.” 

Then he rapped the palm of his hand seven times 
with his fan and the next moment he was holding 
the casket containing the Viceroy’s precious stones. 

Then he turned to his brother Sin Sum Tu. 
“What did you get?” he asked. 

“Gold, and lots of it,” answered Sin Sum Tu. 

So Sin Sum looked in th^book and found that it 
took live raps to produce gold, whereupon Sin Sum 
Tu rapped his hand with his fan five times, and a 
big pile of gold poured into it and spilled over on 
the floor of the cabin. 

“Now, Sin Sum Wen,” said Sin Sum, “it’s your 
turn. What have you got?” 

“Well,” said Sin Sum Wen, “I hate to tell you 
but I got nothing but pies and cakes. I broke into 
a baker’s shop thinking to rob his cash drawer, but I 
guess business was bad, for the drawer was empty, 
but rather than come away without anything, I 
fanned all his pies and cakes, although you may not 
think it worth while to produce them.” 

139 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh, yes,” said Sin Sum, “they are better than 
nothing. We can eat them for supper.” 

Then he took his book and found that pies and 
cakes required eleven raps, and Sin Sum Wen 
rapped his hand eleven times with his fan and in 
about twenty seconds there were enough refresh¬ 
ments in the cabin to last a week. 

“Ah,” said the Second Story Brothers, picking up 
the dainties and piling them on the table, “now we 
will have a feast.” 

And with that they started in and ate, and ate, 
and ate; lemon pie, apple pie, cocoanut pie, cherry 
pie, chocolate cake, cinnamon bun, jelly cake; in 
fact every kind of pie and cake a baker makes, and 
in about an hour each of them had about every kind 
of a stomach ache that every kind of a pie and cake 
makes, and were rolling around howling with pain. 

Now Dong, while he had eaten some of the 
goodies had not eaten much, for not being very 
happy he was not very hungry, so he was not made 
ill like the others. And presently as he saw that 
they paid no attention to him, he decided that here 
140 



THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


was his chance to run away. So he slipped out of 
the cabin and over the side of the boat, and made 
off into the city as fast as he could to the police sta¬ 
tion, for he knew when the Viceroy woke up and 
found his family jewels gone, there would be an 
awful row. And if he showed the police where to 
find them the Viceroy could not punish him for be¬ 
ing with Sin Sum when he stole them. 

When he got to the police station, however, the 
officer at the door told him that Ho Hum, the Chief 
of Police, was taking a nap and could not be dis¬ 
turbed. 

“But,” cried Dong, “I can show you how to 
catch the Second Story Brothers who have stolen 
the Viceroy’s family jewels, if you will come with 
me.” 

“What!” shouted the officer, “they stole the 
Viceroy’s jewels?” 

Then he ran off and wakened Ho Hum at 
once. 

“Waugh!” yawned the Chief of Police, “what is 
this I hear? The Second Story Brothers have 
141 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


stolen the Viceroy’s jewels and you will show us 
how to catch them 1 ?” 

“Yes,” said Dong, “but you’d better hurry up 
before they find out that I have come to tell you 
about it.” 

So Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, and a number 
of his officers strapped on their roller skates and 
with Dong hurried off to the boat where the Sec¬ 
ond Story Brothers were just recovering from the 
effects of the stolen pies and cakes. And very 
pale and miserable they looked sitting against the 
cabin wall when the police burst in and confronted 
them. 

“Surrender!” shouted Ho Hum. 

“Quick!” cried Dong, “take their fans from 
them or it will be the worse for you.” 

Ho Hum, the Chief of Police, scowled. “See 
here, boy,” he said, “are you the Chief of Police or 
am I ? The idea of telling me what to do! Why, 
I was arresting folks before you were born.” 

“But,” began Dong, “won’t you please listen, 
I-” 


142 



THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


“No,” bawled the Chief of Police. 

“Good for you, old sleepy head,” shouted the 
Second Story Brothers. 

Then they leaped to their feet, gave three waves 
of their three fans, and pish!—Ho Hum and all of 
his officers disappeared. 

“Now,” said Sin Sum, grinning wickedly as he 
turned to Dong, “we’ll attend to you, my son. 
We’ll teach you how to go off and tell the police 
about us.” 

“Shall we fan him into nothing?” asked Sin Sum 
Tu and Sin Sum Wen. 

“Not yet,” replied Sin Sum, “not until I’ve laid 
him across my knee for about five minutes and 
given him something to remember me by.” 

With that he made a rush for Dong, but Dong, 
half scared out of his wits, dived under the table, 
then behind the chairs here and there like a squirrel, 
and Sin Sum, who was fat and short winded, could 
not catch him. Then his two brothers joined in, 
but they were even fatter, and besides the pies and 
cakes they had just stuffed had left them in no con- 
143 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


dition to run a race, so do what they would they 
could not catch the boy. And Dong, seeing that 
they could not, began to grow bolder, and pres¬ 
ently, as Sin Sum made a violet grab at him he also 
made a grab at Sin Sum and snatched his fan and 
his book from his sash. Then like lightning he 
turned and whipped the fan open, gave three quick 
sweeps with it at the robbers, and pish!—they dis¬ 
appeared as neatly as the police had, and Dong was 
left the sole occupant of the cabin. 

“Gee whiz!” he exclaimed, all out of breath, but 
nevertheless highly pleased with himself, “I did 
for them that time.” 

Then he opened Sin Sum’s producing book, 
found the page where it said “police” required four 
raps, and rapping the palm of his hand four times, 
Ho Hum and his officers appeared once more, look¬ 
ing rather pale and nervous after their strange ex¬ 
perience. 

“Well,” said Dong to the Chief, “I guess you 
wish you had done as I told you and taken the fans 
away from those robbers.” 

144 





V 






























































THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Ho Hum rolled his eyes. “Don’t say a word,” 
he replied. “I feel like arresting myself, missing 
such a fine chance to capture the Second Story 
Brothers. Dear me, I’m afraid I’ll never catch 
them now.” 

“Oh, yes, you will,” said Dong. “Just you 
watch.” 

With that he struck the palm of his right hand 
once with Sin Sum’s fan, and instantly at his right 
hand stood Sin Sum Tu, and the moment he ap¬ 
peared Dong snatched his fan from him. Then he 
rapped his left hand with Sin Sum’s fan twice and 
instantly at his left side stood Sin Sum Wen, and 
Dong quickly snatched his fan also. 

“Now,” he said to the robbers, “tell me how to 
produce Sin Sum or I’ll fan you both into nothing 
again.” 

So the robbers told Dong to rap his forehead once 
with the fan and Sin Sum would appear. And 
sure enough, the moment Dong rapped his fore¬ 
head, there before him stood Sin Sum. And the 
next moment Ho Hum and his officers pounced on 
146 




THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


the Second Story Brothers and tied them securely. 

Then everybody set off for the Viceroy’s palace, 
Dong carefully carrying the stolen jewels. By the 
time they got there it was morning and the Viceroy 
and his wife having just come down to breakfast, 
were listening to the butler tell them how the front 
door had a hole in it and that he guessed some one 
had been in the house the night before. But not 
until Dong and the police and the Second Story 
Brothers entered the dining room and Dong had 
handed over the jewels, did they know they had 
been stolen. 

“Suffering chopsticks!” shouted the Viceroy; “to 
think of my house being robbed. Some one shall 
suffer for this!” 

And as he said that he looked straight at the Sec¬ 
ond Story Brothers, which made their knees knock 
together very much for they knew of course he was 
talking about them, and they did not like the way 
he pronounced the word “suffer” at all. Then 
having put the captured robbers in a first class un¬ 
comfortable frame of mind, the Viceroy turned to 
147 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Ho Hum, grasped him by the hand and called him 
a hero. 

“Stop!” interrupted the Chief of Police, “I can¬ 
not let you say that. No one enjoys being a hero 
more than I, but the blood of my truthful ancestors 
compels me to state that the boy who stands before 
you is the only hero in this affair. If it had not 
been for him the whole police force would be no¬ 
where.” 

Whereupon he told the Viceroy how Dong had 
brought them back after the robbers had made them 
disappear, and also brought the robbers back so 
they could be arrested. 

“Well, well,” exclaimed the Viceroy, giving 
Dong a most admiring glance, “if that isn’t just 
like something you read about. If we only had 
more boys like you in China, China might amount 
to something. Hum! How would you like to be 
adopted?” 

“I shouldn’t mind,” replied Dong. 

So right then, and there the Viceroy of Ki Yi 
adopted Dong into his family, and told him if he 
148 




THE SECOND STORY BROTHERS 


minded his P’s and Q’s—particularly his Q’s—he 
might be Viceroy himself some day. 

And the chances are if you visit China in the 
years to come you may find that Dong has become 
Viceroy, for you must admit that if he was smart 
enough to put an end to the career of the Second 
Story Brothers, he was certainly smart enough to 
become a Viceroy or even something better. 


149 





THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


One morning the Emperor Fuss of Fizz sat on 
the front porch of his palace rocking impatiently 
back and forth. Evidently he was waiting for 
somebody. By and by when he had rocked so 
many times his rocking chair was beginning to 
squeak, the royal necromancer, Wist the Wise, an 
aged gentleman wearing a gorgeous gown of office, 
came hurrying up the royal avenue. 

“Ha!” exclaimed the Emperor, “so you’ve come 
at last, have you? It’s lucky for you that I’m a 
good natured monarch. 

“I’m awfully sorry to have kept you waiting, 
your majesty,” replied the necromancer, bowing 
low, “but the commander-in-chief of your army had 
a toothache, and I had to wish the tooth out for him 
and believe me, it was some job.” 

“Well,” said the Emperor, “you have a harder 
job than that before you. My son, Prince Frip, 
150 


THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


has been reading about desert islands and insists 
on having one at once to discover. So get to work, 
for as you know whatever Frip wants he wants with 
all his might.” 

Alas, Wist the Wise knew it only too well. A 
good part of his time he was kept busy exercising 
his magic arts to provide amusement for Prince 
Frip, who was a very lively young person, and who 
got tired of a thing almost as soon as he got it. As 
a consequence the wizard had often wished he 
might get rid of the boy forever, for he was afraid 
that some day Frip would ask for something he 
would be unable to give him, for even a magician 
has his limits. So this time the royal necromancer 
was determined to fix the Prince so he would not 
bother him any more. 

“Did you say an island, your majesty?” he in¬ 
quired of the Emperor. 

“I did,” replied the monarch, “and a desert is¬ 
land, too, with plenty of strange and wonderful 
things on it to interest a boy. I want to keep Frip 
busy this time.” 

151 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“So do I,” said the wizard, grimly. “But as 
you know, your majesty, the kingdom of Fizz is far 
inland, and desert islands are only found in the sea. 
If you want desert islands, you must go where 
desert islands bloom.” 

“Oh, I must, must I?” retorted the Emperor, 
angrily. “Whom do you think you’re talking to*? 
You have that desert island ready for Frip to 
play with to-morrow morning, or I’ll have you 
made into an Irish stew.” 

The royal necromancer shuddered. “Well,” he 
said, “I’ll do my best, but whether you stew me or 
not, I simply cannot provide an out and out, really 
true island. At the best it will only be an imag¬ 
inary one. Will that do?” 

“I don’t care what it is,” said the monarch, “so 
long as the Prince can lose himself on it for a while 
and not bother me.” 

So the next morning when Prince Frip com¬ 
menced to ask when he was going to get the desert 
island he had been wishing for, the Emperor was 
able to tell him he would have it that very day. 
152 



THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


And when the royal necromancer made his appear¬ 
ance a short time afterward, the prediction came 
true. Leading the Prince out upon the palace 
lawn, the wizard placed him with his face towards 
the east. Then Wist the Wise rolled up the right 
sleeve of his gown and began whirling his arm 
around and around as though he was going to throw 
something. After he had done this about a hun¬ 
dred times he stopped all of a sudden with his fin¬ 
ger pointing straight ahead of him, and told the 
Prince to look and tell him what he saw. 

But Prince Frip did not trouble to tell the royal 
necromancer anything. He just gave one joyful 
yell and set off toward the pebbly beach that had 
appeared in front of him. A beach flooded with 
sunshine and with a shimmering sea beyond—blue 
in some spots and green in others—and with a most 
delightfully mysterious looking island showing on 
the horizon. Drawn up on the beach was a jaunty 
little sail boat. With a vigorous push the Prince 
had the boat into deep water. Into the craft he 
tumbled. Puff, puff, came a stiff and salty breeze. 

153 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


The sail flattened, the boat heeled over, and in a 
moment was cutting its way through the dancing 
waves with the Prince sitting at the rudder, smil¬ 
ing as he had not smiled for many a day. 

But had he known what the royal necromancer 
had done, he would have been frowning instead of 
smiling, for Wist the Wise when he told the Em¬ 
peror that he could not provide a real island, had 
not spoken the truth. If he had conjured up a real 
island only certain things could have happened on 
it. But on the imaginary island which he had 
provided, anything could happen. And when 
anything can happen there are bound to be some 
very strange adventures. And so the wizard felt 
pretty sure that Frip would have a tough time be¬ 
fore he got back again. 

However, the Prince, suspecting nothing, sat 
in the little sail boat as it went on and on, coming 
nearer and nearer to the island all the while, until 
finally he cast anchor in the prettiest little cove 
you ever saw, and taking off his shoes and stock¬ 
ings, waded ashore. 


154 



THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


“My,” he exclaimed, as he looked about, “isn’t 
this splendid!” 

To the right and left of him the beach stretched 
away in a glittering curve. It looked as though 
it might be made of gold dust instead of sand, and 
the reason it looked that way was because it was 
made of gold dust. Tons and tons of gold dust 
were there, enough to buy out the greatest million¬ 
aire in the world. But the Prince did not know 
it, and if he had known it he would not have cared, 
he was too busy watching a short, squatty looking 
man with a dark brown complexion, driving a stake 
into the beach a short distance away, on which 
was a sign: 

REAL ESTATE 
LOTS FOR SALE 

When the man had made the sign secure he 
turned about and saw Frip. “Hello,” he cried, 
coming toward him, “when did you arrive*?” 

“Just now,” said Frip. “There’s my boat.” 

“Oh,” said the man, “so you came in a boat, eh“? 

155 





THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Very commonplace—very. I came on a Christ¬ 
mas tree.” 

Now you may think it was decidedly queer for 
a person to say such a thing as that, but the Prince 
did not, because when he was close to the stranger 
he saw he was nothing more or less than a Ginger¬ 
bread Man, although unusually large for his spe¬ 
cies. 

“Yes,” went on the Gingerbread Man, “I came 
on a Christmas tree, and I tell you it was rather 
exciting.” 

“I should think so,” remarked Frip. 

“Of course it was a mistake that I got over¬ 
board,” said the Gingerbread Man. “All they 
meant to do was to throw the Christmas tree over¬ 
board after the celebration on the ocean liner. 
But I was fastened to the top and they forgot to 
take me off. Well, I floated for days and days and 
had about decided to try and lose my reason to 
keep from going insane, when, without the slight¬ 
est warning, up out of the sea, right under my nose, 
popped this island.” 


156 




THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


“What do you mean ‘popped this island’ 1 ?” 
asked the Prince. “It didn’t really pop out of the 
ocean, did it?” 

“It- certainly did,” replied the Gingerbread 
Man. “One moment I was straining my eyes look¬ 
ing for an island, and the next moment there it 
was.” 

“Then,” cried Frip, excitedly, “it must have 
been just when the royal necromancer created the 
island for me to play with.” 

And with that he told the Gingerbread Man how 
Wist the Wise had made the island by magic at 
the command of the Emperor. “And,” he went on, 
“it was mighty lucky for you that I happened to 
ask my father for a desert island, otherwise you 
might be floating about the sea yet.” 

“Yes,” said the Gingerbread Man, “it certainly 
was and I cannot thank you enough, for it not 
only saved my life, but it has given me a chance to 
go into business for myself.” He pointed to the 
real estate signs. “It seemed a shame for all this 
land to go to waste so I’ve marked it out into build- 
157 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


ing lots, and as the different people are shipwrecked 
here, as of course they will be, I’ll sell them the lots. 
See?” 

“Yes,” said Frip, “I see. But suppose they 
won’t buy the lots?” 

“Then,” said the Gingerbread Man, firmly, 
“they’ve got to get off the island. Business is busi¬ 
ness. I found the place first and it belongs to me.” 

“Belongs to you,” cried the Prince. “Well, I 
guess not. Why, it was ‘made for me. Didn’t I 
just tell you it was made for me?” 

“Oh, yes,” said the Gingerbread Man, “you told 
me, but that doesn’t make it so, does it? And I 
did get here first, you can’t deny that. And find¬ 
ings are keepings, you can’t deny that, either. 
And whoever wants to stay here has got to buy a 
lot.” And having made that announcement, he 
turned on his heel and walked away, frowning like 
anything. 

“I suppose,” said the Prince to himself, “he’s 
mad at me now. But I don’t care if he is, the 
158 




THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


island is mine and whoever gets shipwrecked here 
can stay if they want to, lots or no lots.” 

Then he turned on his heel and walked away in 
the opposite direction to that taken by the Ginger¬ 
bread Man. 

Now as you know an island is an island—it may 
be a round island, or an oblong island, or a square 
island—but if it is an island and you start at a 
certain place on the seacoast and walk long enough, 
you are bound to come back to the very place where 
you started. And that is exactly what happened 
to Frip. After he left the Gingerbread Man he 
went on walking, and walking, and walking, until 
after a bit he came to a place that looked very 
familiar and he saw by the real estate sign that it 
was the same spot he had started from, except that 
something had happened to it, which was that a 
bonfire was burning there and that running round 
and around the fire was the Gingerbread Man. 
And my, how fine he did smell for the fire had 
warmed him enough to freshen him up. 

159 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Hello,” said Frip, sniffing hungrily, “what’s the 
matter with you? My, you do smell nice!” 

“Oh, I do, do I?” said the Gingerbread Man, 
keeping on running, “then I suppose you’ll join 
the cannibals and help eat me.” 

“Cannibals!” exclaimed the Prince, “what can¬ 
nibals? I don’t see any cannibals.” 

“Perhaps not,” replied the Gingerbread Man, 
“but you can easily see their footprints on the 
beach, can’t you?” 

And sure enough there were the prints of bare 
feet all about the bonfire, and now that Frip had 
noticed them he saw to his surprise that fresh foot¬ 
prints were being made all the time. 

“Why—why—” he began, very much startled, 
“why—hey, is anybody here?” 

And the minute he said that there was a blood¬ 
curdling yell and upon his vision burst a band of 
coal-black savages with waving plumes on their 
heads and spears in their hands. 

“Oh,” he gasped, “goodness gracious!” Then 
turning about he started to run away as fast as he 
160 




%*' 

















THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


could, but when you are surrounded by savages it 
is not so easy to run away, and presently Frip found 
himself running around and around the bonfire in 
the opposite direction to that taken by the Ginger¬ 
bread Man, each one of them pursued by a tower¬ 
ing cannibal. And no one knows how long they 
might have kept it up if at last the Gingerbread 
Man had not bumped into him, cracking himself 
badly and almost knocking the Prince down. And 
at this the cannibals howled with glee. 

“Now,” said the Cannibal Chief, as he watched 
Frip trying to get his breath, “perhaps you’ll tell 
me why you ran so. Was it because we shocked 
you? I was afraid we would.” 

“Well,” said Frip, “you certainly did sort of 
shock me. And then—” 

“I knew it,” said the other. “That’s the reason 
we make ourselves invisible when strangers are 
about. We hate to shock folks. Listen.” 

We always try with all our might 
To keep completely out of sight 

162 



THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


When folks like you, got up in style, 

Come visiting this desert isle. 

For well we know that we at best 
Are far from being overdressed. 

And so until we get a chance 
To find a way to get some pants, 

And maybe too, a fancy vest 
And derby hats, and all the rest, 

All we can do is weave a spell 
And make ourselves invis-i-ble. 

“That,” said the Cannibal Chief, “covers the 
case completely. In other words, we’re the most 
refined savages you ever met.” 

“Then,” said Frip, “if you’re so refined, what 
do you want to be cannibals for? And why do you 
wish to eat that poor Gingerbread Man? That’s 
not very refined.” 

“Not very refined—I admit it,” responded the 
Cannibal Chief, “but very necessary, for meals 
come before manners. And speaking of meals, I 
was thinking of asking you to join us at dinner. 
We’ll have the Gingerbread Man for dessert.” 

163 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh,” cried Frip, “I couldn’t think of eating the 
Gingerbread Man, though I must say he smells aw¬ 
fully good when he’s warmed up.” 

“That’s all right,” said the Cannibal Chief, “you 
won’t have to eat the Gingerbread Man, in fact, 
you won’t be here to do it. We’re going to eat 
you first.” 

Now if Frip had chanced to sit down on a hornet 
and the hornet had got mad about it, it would cer¬ 
tainly have made him jump, but nothing to what 
the remarks of the Cannibal Chief did. Indeed 
they almost froze him stiff and his eyes fairly 
popped out of his head. 

“Eh?” he gasped—“why—what—say—why 
you—you don’t mean to eat—eat me?” 

“If you will join us at dinner—yes,” said the 
Cannibal Chief, politely. “But of course if you 
have another dinner engagement—” 

“I have,” put in Frip, hastily, “I have a whole 
lot of ’em. And—and I’m not a bit hungry, so I 
simply could not join you at dinner.” 

“Well, supper then, or breakfast,” responded the 
164 




THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


Cannibal Chief. “We’ll call it whatever you 
want. We’ll even call it a little side snack, if you 
wish. You surely can’t have engagements for 
every one of those things.” 

“Yes, I have,” said the Prince, desperately, edg¬ 
ing away. “I have engagements for everything, 
day and night. I haven’t a second to spare. And 
besides, my father, the Emperor of Fizz, is waiting 
for me to take a walk and if you stop me he’ll— 
he’ll put you in prison.” 

“Pooh,” put in the Gingerbread Man, suddenly, 
“his father isn’t here.” 

“I didn’t say he was,” replied Frip, “but he’s 
waiting for me at home.” 

“Oh, at home, eh?” said the Cannibal Chief. 
“Well, that’s quite another matter. Lots of things 
are waiting at home. No doubt a taxicab is wait¬ 
ing for your father outside his palace. And I dare 
say there’s a woodpile in your backyard waiting 
for you to do some chopping. And your mother, 
no doubt, is waiting for you to come back. And 
the hired girl is probably waiting on the table. 
165 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


But here, nothing waits. So you and your friend, 
the Gingerbread Man, kindly back up against that 
real estate sign and let the fire grill you a little. 
We don’t care for cold meals.” 

Well, you can easily imagine in what frame of 
mind the Prince was when he heard that. Here 
was a fine ending to his adventure. When he had 
asked for a desert island he had expected to have 
an exciting time of it but not this sort. 

“My, oh my!” he groaned. “I wish I had 
stayed at home and played with my regular play¬ 
things and not asked for a desert island. This is 
what comes of wanting something that isn’t meant 
for boys.” 

“Yes,” said the Gingerbread Man, “and this is 
what comes of landing on something that isn’t 
meant for gingerbread men. I wish now I had 
stayed on that Christmas tree.” 

“Well,” said Frip, as the cannibals pushed him 
back to back with the Gingerbread Man, “I’m sorry 
we quarreled over those building lots.” 

“Don’t mention it,” said the Gingerbread Man, 
166 




THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


“and I’m sorry you are going to be eaten ahead of 
me. 

Then they shook hands solemnly, and the Gin¬ 
gerbread Man’s hand was so soft and sticky that 
one of the fingers came off in Frip’s clasp. And 
just for a moment Frip thought of eating it, for 
he had had no breakfast that morning, and then 
shocked that he should think of such a thing, he 
tossed it away. 

The next instant one of the cannibals picked it 
up. “Yum, yum,” he exclaimed as he took a bite. 
Then he passed the morsel on tt) another of the 
band, and before the finger had gone half around, 
the whole group of cannibals were simply wild over 
the delicious flavor of the Gingerbread Man. 

“Ow! Yow!” they shrieked. “Gibblety! 
Goody!” 

Then with another shriek they all rushed at the 
poor Gingerbread Man and tearing him away from 
the horror stricken Prince, commenced to gobble 
him up as fast as they could. And because there 
was so little of him and so many of them, each one 
167 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


of the cannibals fell to fighting the other in order 
to get his share of the tempting meal. And long 
after the last crumb of the Gingerbread Man had 
disappeared, they were still fighting furiously, un¬ 
til, as cannibals when they start to fight never know 
how to stop, they killed each other, and Frip was 
the only person left alive on the beach of the desert 
island. 

And when that happened you may be sure it did 
not take him long to wade out to his boat and set 
sail for home, for he had had quite enough of that 
place. 

“Hello,” said the royal necromancer, feeling 
very much annoyed as the Prince landed on the 
imaginary shore in front of his father’s palace, 
“how on earth did you get back so soon? You 
should have stayed longer. You’ve missed seeing 
a lot of things.” 

“I don’t care if I did,” said Frip, “for what I did 
see was quite enough.” And when he said that it 
seemed to him he could still hear the whoops of the 
168 



THE IMAGINARY ISLAND 


invisible cannibals as they scrambled for the 
crumbs of the Gingerbread Man. 

“Oh, ho,” said Wist the Wise, smiling cheerily, 
“then you don’t care for imaginary islands, eh?” 

“No,” said Frip, “I don’t. That is, I don’t ex¬ 
cept in story books.” 


X 


169 




THE DANCING PEARL 


The Dancing Pearl was the name of a beautiful 
lady, and she danced every evening and Saturday 
afternoons in the palace of the Viceroy of Chow 
Chow. That is, she did until the Hermit of Hong 
carried her off by stealth one night to his cave in 
the mountains. 

Now the Hermit of Hong hated crowds and 
conversation, but he adored music and dancing, 
and after he had stolen the Dancing Pearl he just 
used to sit and bang the cymbals while he smoked 
his water pipe and watched the Dancing Pearl 
dance until it made his eyes swim. And he never 
gave a thought to the way the Viceroy must feel 
at being deprived of his dancing girl. But if the 
Hermit did not dwell upon the matter, the Viceroy 
did, and the minute he found the Dancing Pearl 
was gone, he went to see the celebrated Mongolian 
170 


THE DANCING PEARL 


wizard, Hoo Hoo, who had his office on the main 
street of Chow Chow. 

But when he entered the wizard’s office he was 
much disappointed to find that the wizard had just 
gotten married and that his wife would not let him 
take any case which had a lady in it. 

“I’m awfully sorry,” said the wizard to the 
Viceroy, “but as you are a married man yourself, 
you can easily understand my position.” 

“Of course, of course,” replied the Viceroy, im¬ 
patiently, “but that does not get me back my 
dancing girl, and I must have her back. There is 
no one like her. She is the poetry of motion and 
the soul of ecstasy. I’ll give half my fortune to 
get her back.” 

“Well, in that case,” said Hoo Hoo, “I’ll have 
to take the job, for the half of your fortune added 
to mine will make me a very rich man. But I can 
only do the work by proxy—that is, my apprentice 
will have to do it under my direction—for I posi¬ 
tively will not hurt my wife’s feelings, not even 
for the half of your fortune.” 

171 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


Then he struck a gong and into the room walked 
a bright looking boy about eight years old with his 
pigtail neatly curled about his head. 

“This,” said the wizard, “is my apprentice, Floo. 
I’ll put him on the case.” 

“Not much,” exclaimed the Viceroy. “Why, he 
is only a boy. You seem to think this affair of 
mine is mere child’s play.” 

“Oh, no, I don’t,” said the wizard, “and if you 
think Floo is a child, you are very much mistaken. 
He has been taught his trade very, very carefully. 
Why, he can even tell how many hairs there are in 
your pigtail. Tell him, Floo.” 

And Floo, after examining the Viceroy’s pigtail 
for a few moments, told him there were 3,672,491 
hairs in it. 

“There,” said the wizard, proudly, “what do 
you think of that?” 

“But,” said the Viceroy, “how do I know he’s 
right?” 

“Well,” responded the wizard, “how do you 
172 




THE DANCING PEARL 


know he’s wrong? Have you ever counted the 
hairs in your pigtail, eh?” 

“N—o,” said the Viceroy, slowly, “but—” 

“Then,” said the wizard, “the less said the bet¬ 
ter.” 

So Floo was picked out to solve the mystery of 
the disappearance of the Dancing Pearl, and the 
first thing the wizard did was to give him a list of 
people in Chow Chow that might have carried off 
the dancing girl. 

“To save time,” he said, “you’d better turn ’em 
all into turnips at once, and then tell ’em you 11 
turn ’em back again if they’ll confess their crime.” 

But after Floo had turned all the people into 
turnips and told them he would turn them back if 
they confessed, he found that every one of them 
confessed without a moment’s hesitation, which 
made things very confusing, for when you trans¬ 
form a thousand persons and each one says he stole 
a dancing girl when only one dancing girl was 
stolen, you do not know what to think. So the 

173 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


wizard told Floo he had better give up that line 
of investigation. 

“Now,” continued the wizard, “the next thing 
is to know what to do? What do you think?” 

“Well,” said Floo, “I believe it would be a good 
plan to pick out the person you think would never 
do such a thing as steal a dancing girl and go after 
him. And after you find him you’ll probably find 
he did it. That is the way it always happens in 
the story books I’ve read.” 

“All right,” said Hoo Hoo, “suppose we try it. 
But it’s going to be a tough job, I’m afraid.” 

And indeed it was, for Floo and the wizard 
thought and thought until their heads ached trying 
to recall a person in Chow Chow who would not 
care to steal the Viceroy’s dancing girl, but at last 
Floo gave a shout. 

“I have it,” he cried. “I know of one person no¬ 
body would ever suspect, and that is the Hermit 
of Hong. He hates everybody—ladies most of all 
—and the only thing he enjoys is being by himself. 
So if the story books are right he must be the one 
174 






THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


who carried off the Dancing Pearl. I think I’ll go 
to see him.” 

“Go ahead, then,” said the wizard. Then he 
handed Floo a book bound in leather. “Here,” he 
said, “are a few simple instructions how to turn 
things into other things. I would suggest that you 
turn the Hermit into a lemon if you find it neces¬ 
sary. Good-by and good luck!” 

So Floo set off for the Hermit’s cave and when he 
got there he found, as you already know, that the 
Hermit of Hong had stolen the Dancing Pearl, and 
was enjoying himself immensely as he watched her 
whirl about. 

“Sir,” demanded Floo, sternly, “what do you 
mean by such behavior? I thought you were a 
hermit. And besides, don’t you know that the 
Dancing Pearl belongs to the Viceroy of Chow 
Chow?” 

The Hermit of Hong laughed scornfully as he 
put down his cymbals and laid aside his pipe. 
“Belongs to the Viceroy of Chow Chow? You 
mean, did belong to the Viceroy of Chow Chow. 
176 



THE DANCING PEARL 


She belongs to me now. And as for you, whoever 
you are, get out of my cave before I throw a toad 
at you.” Then he clashed his cymbals again and 
the Dancing Pearl went on with her dancing. 

Now you may think that Floo would have been 
discouraged to meet with such a reception, but such 
was not the case, for he had not been trained by the 
celebrated Mongolian wizard for nothing. No 
sir-ee, it took much more than that to discourage 
him. So all he did was to take out his book of 
instructions and look it over. Then he put some 
figures down on a piece of paper, after which he 
wiggled his fingers a moment and stamped his foot, 
and the Hermit of Hong was transformed into a 
large and very yellow looking lemon. And the 
moment that happened the Dancing Pearl stopped 
dancing and rushed up to Floo with a cry of joy. 

“Oh,” she panted, all out of breath from her late 
exertions. “I’m so glad you came. I’m com¬ 
pletely worn out.” 

“I should think so,” said Floo. “Have you been 
dancing ever since that old thing carried you off?” 
177 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Yes,” said the Dancing Pearl; “not even stop¬ 
ping for meals.” 

“Well,” said Floo, “just you rest yourself and 
then we’ll start back to the Viceroy’s palace.” 

Then he told the Dancing Pearl who he was and 
why Hoo Hoo had sent him. “Of course,” he 
continued, “the wizard will make much more 
money than I will out of this job, but I think I’ll 
get my salary raised anyhow. And if I keep on 
being successful as I have been this time, I 
shouldn’t be surprised if I made a big enough sal¬ 
ary after awhile to get married. And if I ever get 
married I know who I’d like to marry.” 

And when he said that the Dancing Pearl hung 
her head and turned very pink. “Oh,” she mur¬ 
mured, “I’m much too old for you. I’m almost 
twelve.” 

“What of it?” cried Floo, “I’m going on nine.” 

So the Dancing Pearl and the wizard’s appren¬ 
tice decided to get married as soon as Floo made 
enough money to support them, and they were so 
taken up with their planning that they quite forgot 
178 



THE DANCING PEARL 


the Hermit of Hong who had been turned into a 
lemon. But if they had forgotten about the Her¬ 
mit, the Hermit had not forgotten about himself, 
and the minute Floo turned him into a lemon he 
began to turn himself into something else. Of 
course what he would have liked to do best would 
have been to turn himself back into a hermit, but 
when you have been transformed into something, 
you cannot turn yourself back into what you were 
first unless you have attended a college of magic. 
And as luck would have it, the Hermit of Hong 
had never been to college, and what little magic he 
knew he had picked up himself. Therefore, the 
only thing he could do was to turn himself into 
something worse than what he was. And as long 
as he could not be the Hermit of Hong and have 
the Dancing Pearl dance for him, he decided he 
might as well get even by being transformed into 
something that would stand in the way of Floo hav¬ 
ing the Dancing Pearl, so he turned himself into a 
monstrous Grammarsaurus or ancient Iff, for he 
knew if anything could stand in the way of a per- 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


son doing something he wanted to, an Iff could, 
because an Iff not only stood in the way but it had 
the most disconcerting eyes. Yes, indeed, its eyes 
made you so dizzy after you had gazed into them a 
moment you fell down in a heap, whereupon the 
Grammarsaurus devoured you eagerly. But if 
you did not look into the creature’s eyes you were 
all right, for the Grammarsaurus could not eat any¬ 
thing unless it was perfectly still. You see he had 
to keep his eyes shut while he was eating, because if 
he looked at what he was eating it went around and 
around, and it is awfully hard to make a meal of 
anything that is going around and around. 

But of course Floo and the Dancing Pearl knew 
nothing about ancient Iffs and their habits. All 
they knew was that they adored each other and 
wanted to get married, and when the Hermit 
turned himself from a lemon into an immense crea¬ 
ture that half filled the cavern, you may be sure 
they were very much startled. 

“Oh,” cried the Dancing Pearl, as the Gram- 
180 




THE DANCING PEARL 


marsaurus gave a snort that made the cave tremble, 
“what’s that 4 ?” 

“What’s what 4 ?” asked Floo, turning about. 
And then when he saw the ancient Iff you can well 
believe he said “oh” also. 

“My gracious,” he gasped, “how did that thing 
get in here 4 ? And—and where is the lemon I made 
out of the Hermit?” 

“That,” said the Grammarsaurus, icily, “is a 
mystery that I can easily solve. I am the hermit, 
likewise the lemon, and also something else beside 
as you may observe.” 

“I should say you were,” said the Dancing Pearl. 
“I never saw such a monster.” 

And then as she looked into the creature’s eyes 
she felt a slight dizziness coming over her and 
found herself swaying, but as she was a dancer and 
accustomed to whirling about, the feeling passed 
off in a moment and she was as well as ever. 

“Huh!” said the ancient Iff disgustedly, “why 
don’t you turn giddy and fall down in a heap so I 
181 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


can eat you ? Everybody does that when they look 
into my eyes/’ 

“Maybe they do,” replied the Dancing Pearl, 
“but I don’t. Pm too accustomed to whirling 
about to get dizzy so easy, so you’ll have to make 
a meal of something else.” 

“All right,” growled the monster, glaring at 
Floo, “then I’ll eat your gentleman friend.” 

“Well, I guess not,” said Floo. “/ don’t intend 
to look into your ugly old eyes, no sir-ee.” 

“Oh, don’t you?” said the ancient Iff. “In¬ 
deed!” And with that he began to sing in a voice 
like a dozen bass drums: 

In days of old when knights were bold 
And dragons held their sway, 

The knights all fought as warriors ought 
To end the dragons’ day. 

And though the dragons spouted flame 
The knights they whipped ’em just the same. 

But in the days before the craze 
For killing dragons flourished, 

There were no tiffs with ancient Iffs 
For Iffs were too well nourished. 

182 




THE DANCING PEARL 


And though some might ignore their size, 
None could ignore their goo-goo eyes. 


So have a care—likewise beware, 

And look at me just so— 

You have no chance! My flashing glance 
Will follow where you go. 

Gaze in my eyes—get busy, 

And let yourself grow dizzy. 

As the Grammarsaurus sang the last verse, Floo, 
to his horror, found himself looking into the mon¬ 
ster’s glaring eyes, and the minute he did that he 
began to feel giddier and giddier. 

“Phew!” he cried, “I—I—I feel so wobbly I can 
hardly keep my feet.” 

“Ha, ha,” chuckled the ancient Iff, “of course 
you do. And presently you’ll feel even more 
wobbly, and then—” 

He turned to the Dancing Pearl. “Here,” he 
remarked, “is where I eat your gentleman friend as 
I said I would. I guess you wish now he hadn’t 
tried to take you from me when I was a hermit, 
don’t you?” 

183 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Indeed I do not,” retorted the Dancing Pearl, 
“for I am not going to let you eat my gentleman 
friend. Your eyes may make him dizzy but un¬ 
less he falls in a heap you cannot eat him. And as 
I never get giddy I shall hold him up.” 

And with that she put her arm about Floo’s neck 
and drew his arm about her waist, and though his 
legs were very, very unsteady she managed to keep 
him from falling while the Grammarsaurus walked 
about smacking his lips enviously. 

“Now look here,” he said to the Dancing Pearl, 
“you seem to forget this is a private matter be¬ 
tween your gentleman friend and myself, and I 
cannot see why you mix in it, I really cannot.” 

“Well, maybe you can’t,” replied the Dancing 
Pearl, “but I can. So you might as well shoo 
yourself away.” 

Then because the ancient Iff’s song had so en¬ 
chanted Floo he could not even close his eyes but 
simply had to keep on looking at the monster, she 
threw her beautiful hand-embroidered handker¬ 
chief over his face, and presently the effect of the 
184 



THE DANCING PEARL 


Grammarsaurus’s stare passed away and Floo felt 
much better. 

“Now,” said the Dancing Pearl, “if I were you 
I’d look in my book of instructions and turn this 
nasty old thing into something less dangerous.” 

Floo groaned. “I can’t,” he replied. “This 
book only tells how to transform a person or a thing 
once. You see, Hoo Hoo did not think I would 
have to do it more than once.” 

“But,” said the Dancing Pearl, “I don’t see why 
you cannot transform this Grammarsaurus. You 
never transformed him before.” 

“Yes, I did,” responded Floo. “I turned the 
Hermit into a lemon, and this monster is only a 
continuation of the lemon. In other words, the 
Hermit was first a lemon and now he’s a Grammar¬ 
saurus, and the book doesn’t tell how to transform 
him again.” 

Well, you may be sure this tickled the ancient Iff 
very much. As Floo and the Dancing Pearl con¬ 
versed he had been listening with all his might, 
and when he heard Floo confess that he did not 
185 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


know how to transform the monster into anything 
else the ancient Iff gave a loud cheer and capered 
about gleefully. 

“My, my,” he exclaimed, “but I have got you 
two in a fix. I may not be able to make you so 
dizzy you’ll fall down and I can eat you, but that 
is no reason why I cannot scrouge you so I’ll be able 
to gobble you up after a while.” 

And with that he began to crowd them against 
the walls of the cave something awful. It was 
just like having a house trying to walk over you, 
and Floo and the Dancing Pearl had to step lively 
to keep out of the monster’s way. 

“If we can only get outside,” panted Floo, “I 
believe I can fix him, for I’ve thought of a plan.” 

“All right,” said the Dancing Pearl, “I’ll run to 
the back of the cave and when he comes after me 
you run outside and before he can squash me I’ll 
join you.” 

“But,” said Floo, “are you quite sure you can do 
it?” 

“Yes, indeed,” replied the girl. “I’m as light 
186 




THE DANCING PEARL 


as a feather on my feet. I haven’t been a dancer 
for nothing.” 

And sure enough, when the Grammarsaurus, 
puffing and snorting, tried to scrouge her to noth¬ 
ing at the rear of the cave, she sprang swiftly aside, 
and in a moment was beside Floo outside the en¬ 
trance. And then, just as the furious creature was 
galloping toward the door of the cavern to try to 
crush them outside, Floo, looking in his book, wig¬ 
gled his fingers and repeated hastily: 

Cave, bar the monster’s rage— 

Four, three, two, one. 

Cave, turn into a cage— 

Do, do it, doing, done. 

Then he stamped his foot, and bing—instead of 
a rocky cave there stood before them a fine, big, 
iron cage, strong enough to hold anything, and in¬ 
side of it was the Grammarsaurus. 

“Oh,” cried the Dancing Pearl, “what a delight¬ 
ful idea!” 

“Yes,” said Floo, “I just happened to think that 
even if I couldn’t transform the Grammarsaurus 
187 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


there was no reason why I could not transform the 
cave. So I did.” 

“Yes,” put in the Grammarsaurus, “I see you 
did.” And after that he would not say another 
word, but sat and sat, and chewed his tail in vexa¬ 
tion. 

“Now,” said Floo, “let’s start for the Viceroy’s 
palace.” 

So off they went, and when they got there the 
Viceroy of Chow Chow was beside himself with 

joy- 

“Welcome, poetry of motion and soul of ec¬ 
stasy!” he cried, swinging the Dancing Pearl high 
in the air. 

And then when he learned how Floo had res¬ 
cued her and how he wanted to marry her, the Vice¬ 
roy said he had no-objection whatever, provided 
Floo would let his wife dance at the palace when¬ 
ever the Viceroy wanted her to. And as for the 
Grammarsaurus, he would be glad to buy the crea¬ 
ture, cage and all, to put in the private zoo he had. 

So the Grammarsaurus was brought to Chow 
188 



THE DANCING PEARL 


Chow and placed on exhibition, and Floo and the 
Dancing Pearl lived happily ever afterwards on 
the generous sum that the Viceroy paid for him. 




THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


Once there was a little boy named Ting who, as 
this story opens, was just celebrating his eighth 
birthday. And you may be sure it was a pretty 
fine birthday celebration because Ting was the 
Crown Prince of Pouf and heir to the throne. 

“Now, Ting,” said his father the King, as they 
stood at the palace window watching the magnifi¬ 
cent parade given in the Prince’s honor, I have 
another surprise for you. I am going to give you 
a chance to prove your princely courage by rescu¬ 
ing the Inherited Princess from the enchanted 
castle.” 

Then he told Ting that hundreds and hundreds 
of years ago, this Princess, who was just about 
Ting’s age and quite beautiful, had been carried 
off by her uncle, a celebrated scoundrel with a 
magical education, and shut up in an enchanted 
castle with a twenty-headed Gallopus to guard her. 
190 


THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


“My,” said the Prince, “she must be quite an old 
lady by this time.” 

“No, indeed,” said the King, “she is just as 
young as ever. One never grows old in an en¬ 
chanted castle. But if she didn’t grow old the 
wicked uncle did, so much so that he finally died 
of it. Then as no one had ever found a way to res¬ 
cue the Princess, and as her uncle had stated in his 
will that she was not to be set free until she was 
rescued, the heirs of the wicked uncle had to let 
things go on as they were, so the Princess still re¬ 
mains in the castle with the twenty-headed Gal- 
lopus on guard.” 

“But,” said Ting, “doesn’t a Gallopus ever grow 
old 1 ?” 

“Not that I ever heard of,” replied the King, “or 
at least this one does not, for he still sits in the 
same spot in the castle yard as he did before I was 
born.” 

“Phew!” exclaimed Ting, “he must be a terrible 
creature.” 

“Well,” said the monarch, “he isn’t a thing to be 
191 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


trifled with. And that is the reason I think it 
would be fine for you to celebrate your birthday by 
fighting him and setting the Princess free. Don’t 

you*?” 

“H’ mm ,” murmured the Prince, “I don’t know. 
I can think of other things I would much rather 
do.” 

“Why, I am surprised,” said the King. “I 
should think you’d be glad of the chance. I only 
wish some one had suggested the idea on my eighth 
birthday. Just think how famous you’ll be if you 
conquer the twenty-headed Gallopus.” 

“Yes,” said Ting, “but just think how I’ll be if 
I don’t.” 

“Pooh! Pooh!” remarked the Prime Minister, 
who sat on the other side of Ting, “that’s no way 
for a prince to talk, especially as we’ve announced 
to the public that you are about to rescue the In¬ 
herited Princess from the enchanted castle.” 

“Yes,” said the King, “and every one is talking 
about it, so you can’t back out unless you wish to 
disgrace me.” 


192 




The minute the parade was over he started orr 















THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


And of course, as Ting had no desire to bring 
disgrace upon his family, he saw he would have to 
fight the twenty-headed Gallopus whether he liked 
it or not, though how he was ever going to do it, 
he could not imagine. However, as the longer he 
thought about the matter the more discouraged he 
became, he finally decided to go and have a look 
at the monster and see what his chances were. So 
the minute the parade was over, he started off. 

Now a twenty-headed Gallopus is shaped like 
a star with twenty points, and on each point is a 
head. And each head has two pop eyes, two big 
ears, a wide mouth with a complete collection of 
long, sharp teeth, and a turned up nose. And 
when a twenty-headed Gallopus wishes to show a 
person that he does not care for his society, he turns 
slowly about and stares at him fixedly with his 
forty eyes, which makes a person feel very uncom¬ 
fortable. So you can easily imagine how Ting felt 
when he reached the enchanted castle and con¬ 
fronted the twenty-headed Gallopus in the court¬ 
yard. 


193 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Well,” cried the twenty-headed Gallopus, 
speaking with about ten of his heads and making a 
fearful racket, “what do you want around here?” 

Whereupon the Prince told him how he was ex¬ 
pected to rescue the Inherited Princess, and had 
come to see what the Gallopus looked like before 
he started to work. 

“Oh, you did, did you?” roared the monster. 
“Well, what do you think?” 

“I think,” said Ting, “that you’re the most awful 
thing I ever saw. You’re enough to guard a dozen 
princesses and it isn’t fair to ask a little boy of 
eight to fight you.” 

“It’s not only not fair,” said the Gallopus, “but 
it’s downright mean, not to say ridiculous.” Then 
he laughed with all his heads at once until the 
ground actually trembled. “Don’t you know,” he 
went on, “that I’d have to lose every one of my 
heads before the Princess could be freed? Even 
if you chopped off one or two it would be no use. 
I must lose all of them before the spell is broken.” 

And with that he burst into a rollicking ditty— 
194 



THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


Three rousing cheers for a job like mine, 

For I must confess it is simply fine 
To sit all day and take your ease 
And just do nothing as long as you please. 

For who would dare to brave my wrath 4 ? 

And who would dare to cross my path 
To try and win this princess fair? 

Oh, can you tell me who would dare? 

“Well,” said the twenty-headed Gallopus, 
when he had finished, “can you tell me who would 
dare?” 

“No,” said Ting, “I can’t. I thought maybe I 
would, but Eve changed my mind.” 

“And quite right, too,” said the monster, “you 
show good sense, for it is certainly foolish to at¬ 
tempt what is impossible. And besides, the Prin¬ 
cess is very happy in the castle anyway.” 

“How do you know?” asked the Prince. 

“Well,” said the Gallopus, “she has never com¬ 
plained, and even if she did I would be too bashful 
to listen to her. I don’t know what it is, but it 
makes me dreadfully nervous to talk to girls. I 
get so confused and everything. Do you?” 

195 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh, no,” said Ting, “I like to talk to girls.” 

The twenty-headed Gallopus looked at him ad¬ 
miringly. “Hum,” he said, “you’re much braver 
than I thought you were. No wonder you thought 
you could fight me. And now I think you had bet¬ 
ter run along back home for I want to take a little 
nap.” 

But Ting had no intention of running back home 
just then, no indeed, for chancing to look up at the 
castle windows he had seen the Princess peeping 
out at him. And one sight of her was enough to 
make him want to stay there forever. So he told 
the twenty-headed Gallopus not to mind him but 
to go ahead and take his nap. 

“I won’t disturb you,” he said. “I’ll be just as 
quiet as a mouse.” 

“Very well,” replied the Gallopus, “if you’ll 
promise solemnly not make any noise or chop off 
any of my heads, I’ll do it, for I need the sleep. 
One of my heads had the headache last night and 
it kept all the others awake.” 

And with that he wobbled into his cave and be- 
196 



THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


gan to snore like twenty locomotives all starting 
from the station at once. 

“My gracious!” gasped the Prince, “he needn’t 
worry about the noise / make.” 

Then he hurried across the courtyard until he 
came to the window where the Princess was sitting. 

“Hello,” he shouted at the top of his lungs. 
“How do you do?” 

“Very well, thank you,” screamed the Princess, 
leaning out of the window. “Isn’t it dreadful the 
noise that old Gallopus makes'?” 

“Terrible,” yelled Ting, thinking how lovely she 
was, all pink in the face from shouting so. “I’ve 
come to rescue you.” 

“Oh, isn’t that splendid!” shrieked the Prin¬ 
cess, smiling at him. “Do you think you can do 
it?” 

“Sure,” bawled Ting, “I’ll find out some way. 
I didn’t think I could at first, but since I’ve seen 
you, I’ve simply got to.” 

And when he said that the Inherited Princess 
grew pinker than ever and did not seem to know 
197 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


what to say. But even if she had known what to 
say she probably would not have said it for all of 
a sudden the snoring stopped and the twenty¬ 
headed Gallopus came hurrying out of his cave as 
mad as could be. 

“Didn’t you tell me you wouldn’t make any 
noise?” he demanded of Ting, angrily. “You 
said if I took a nap you’d be as quiet as a mouse, 
and yet you’ve made such a rumpus it woke me up. 
Such a hooting and tooting I never heard.” 

“That wasn’t me,” said Ting. “That was you 
—snoring.” 

“I—snoring?” howled the monster, furiously. 
“Oh, that’s—that’s the worst insult yet. I never 
snore, sir, never. I—I wouldn’t know a snore if 
I heard one. And even if I did snore it would 
sound like a harp or something like that, and not 
like a roll of musketry. The idea, telling me I 
snore!” 

Thereupon, with every one of his twenty heads 
snarling, and his body whirling about like a pin- 
wheel, the Gallopus started for the Prince. And 
198 



THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


the minute he started the Prince started also, in the 
opposite direction. 

“Oh,” shrieked the Princess, “he’ll eat you.” 

“He’d—he’d better not,” cried Ting, running 
around and around the courtyard as fast as he 
could. 

“Bah!” shouted the Gallopus, “don’t tell me 
what I’d better not do. And stop running so. 
How am I ever going to catch you if you run 
around so 1 ?” 

All of which showed what a silly old thing the 
twenty-headed Gallopus was, for he might have 
known that Ting would not stop running around. 
Indeed, he ran so fast that the monster finally 
stopped and stood panting with his forty cheeks 
all puffed out. And then it was that the Princess 
leaned out of the window, extended her hand, and 
Ting, giving a leap, seized it and jumped in at the 
casement where she sat. 

“Now,” he jeered at the monster, “catch me if 
you can.” 

“I don’t need to catch you,” replied the twenty- 

199 




THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


headed Gallopus, calmly, “the enchanted castle 
has caught you and that’s enough, as you’ll soon 
find out.” 

“Why, what do you mean?” asked the Prince, 
in a tone of alarm. 

“Oh, nothing much,” chuckled the monster, 
“only that in an hour you will begin to turn into 
a spider, that’s all, but it’s enough, I guess. Hee, 
hee!” 

With another shriek the Princess fainted away, 
and as for Ting, he almost fainted too, at the 
thought of turning into anything so horrid. 

“I don’t believe it,” he said, glaring at the Gal¬ 
lopus. 

“Just as you please,” answered the monster, “but 
when you’re a spider you’ll believe it. That castle 
was built to hold the Princess and nobody else. 
If anybody else goes in they turn into a spider 
unless they come out in an hour.” 

Well, you can imagine how Ting felt, and you 
can also imagine how the Princess felt when she 
came out of her swoon. 


200 




THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


“I like you awfully, Ting,” she said, “but really 
I’m afraid I could not like you as a spider.” 

“I should say not,” replied the boy. “I couldn’t 
like myself that way.” 

Then he pulled out his watch, looked at it and 
shuddered. “Only three quarters of an hour left,” 
he groaned. 

And there they sat at the window worrying and 
worrying and worrying, and wondering what to 
do. And underneath the window sat the twenty¬ 
headed Gallopus gloating and gloating and gloat¬ 
ing over the way they were worrying. And finally 
the three-quarters of an hour passed and they knew 
if Ting stayed in the castle another minute he 
would turn into a spider. 

“Oh, dear,” said the boy, “I guess I’ll have to go 
out and be eaten. It’s bad enough but I think I’d 
rather be eaten than be a spider.” 

“Yes,” said the Princess, “and I think I should, 
too, only I would like to disappoint that Gallopus. 
I know he’d much rather eat you than have you 
turn into a spider.” 


201 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


“Oh, do you think so?” said Ting. 

“I’m sure of it,” responded the Princess. 

“Then,” said the boy, “maybe I can make a bar¬ 
gain with him.” 

So he leaned out of the window and called to the 
monster: “you might as well go away now. I’ve 
decided to become a spider.” 

“What!” shouted the twenty-headed Gallopus, 
“why, you must be crazy. Why—why, it’s an aw¬ 
ful feeling to be a spider. It’s much nicer to be 
eaten. Come on out and I’ll swallow you whole 
and it won’t hurt a bit.” 

“No,” said Ting, “I think I prefer to be a 
spider.” 

“Oh, go on,” said the Gallopus, looking awfully 
disappointed, “you can’t mean it.” 

“Yes, I do,” said the Prince, “although I might 
change my mind if you let the Princess go free.” 

“Never,” cried the monster, gnashing his teeth. 

“Very well, then,” said Ting, “you’ll not eat 
me .” And he started to draw in his head. 

“Wait, wait,” shouted the Gallopus, “wait a 


202 




Underneath the window sat the twenty-headed Gallopus 













THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


moment. Let me think. 5 ’ Then after a moment 
he groaned. “All right, I’ll do it, though I ought 
to be ashamed of myself. But it has been so many 
years since I tasted a boy I simply cannot resist 
the temptation. So come out and be eaten and 
the moment I gulp you down I’ll go off to my cave 
and shut my eyes, and the Princess can come out 
of the castle . 55 

And the instant the monster said that the Prince 
jumped out of the window, because he knew if he 
hesitated the Princess, who had been listening in 
horrified silence, would never let him be eaten to 
set her free. 

“Ah, ha ! 55 cried the Gallopus, smacking his 
twenty pairs of lips, when he saw Ting standing 
before him, “now I have got you . 55 Then he burst 
into a roar of laughter. “I knew that story about 
the spider would fetch you. That’s the reason I 
made it up . 55 

“You made it up?” cried Ting. “Do you mean 
to say it wasn’t true?” 

With another laugh the Gallopus shook every 
204 





THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


one of his heads merrily. “Of course it wasn’t 
true, and only a ninny like you that would have be¬ 
lieved it.” 

“Is that so!” cried the Princess. 

And as she spoke she jumped out of the window 
and marched right up to the monster. “You 
wicked, wicked creature,” she said, her cheeks flam¬ 
ing and her eyes sparkling like diamonds. 

And as she stood there right in front of the Gal- 
lopus she looked so lovely Ting felt he would be 
willing to be eaten a dozen times for her sake. 
And as for the twenty-headed Gallopus, he blushed 
scarlet with confusion. Of course he had often 
seen the Princess at her window, but never before 
in the sunshine outside the castle where she was a 
hundred times as beautiful. So he just stared and 
stared with all his mouths open, and shuffled his 
hundred and twenty feet uneasily. And then all 
of a sudden his heads began to get dizzy, and he 
felt as though he would sink through the ground 
with bashfulness. And then—as the Princess, 
growing more dazzling every minute, advanced 
205 



THE SOCIABLE SAND WITCH 


still closer—bing—he lost his twenty heads en¬ 
tirely. Bing, bing, bing—each one went off like 
a balloon when it bursts, and nothing remained of 
the dreadful Gallopus to worry about. 

“Hurrah! Hurrah!” cried the Princess, clap¬ 
ping her hands. “The enchantment is broken. I 
am free again and you will not be eaten after all, 
Ting. I wonder what ever made him lose his 
heads that way 1 ?” 

“Why,” said Ting, taking her hand and liking 
her more than ever, “don’t you know? Because 
if you don’t, just come to the palace and look in 
a mirror and you will soon find out.” 

And when he said that the Princess tucked her 
arm in his and marched him off to the palace as 
quick as she could. 

“Well, well, well,” cried the King, jumping off 
his throne in excitement when he saw them coming 
in, “if this isn’t the great surprise of my life.” 

Then he patted Ting on the back and called him 
the bravest boy in the land. “To think of con¬ 
quering the twenty-headed Gallopus and rescuing 
206 



THE INHERITED PRINCESS 


the Inherited Princess on your eighth birthday,” 
he said. “I never, never thought you would do 
it.” 

“I didn’t do it,” said Ting. “The Princess did 
it all herself.” 

And after the King had learned all that had hap¬ 
pened he patted the Princess on the back also, and 
then he pinched her cheek. 

“I don’t wonder, my dear,” he said, “that the 
Gallopus lost his heads. And I guess I’ll an¬ 
nounce that you and Ting did it between you, for 
it’s all in the family, anyway.” 


207 






































































































